“I’m so sorry I didn’t believe you. If I had, all of this could have been prevented.”
“It’s okay,” I said with a gentle smile. “It was a pretty crazy story. I’m not sure I would have believed it either if I hadn’t lived it. I’m just lucky that you were here with me and stopped her.”
Logan’s jaw tensed. “I’m never letting you out of my sight again.”
I laughed, feeling a weight lift. I finally felt safe again, now that Kristina was in custody. “Kristina’s no longer a threat so there’s no need to be worried.”
Logan didn’t look convinced, but he didn’t push it. When Emily came by later in the day, she almost fell over from shock after we told her what happened. She was as apologetic as Logan for not believing me, but I reassured her that it was okay.
I was relieved to be released later in the afternoon, but instead of going home, Logan insisted that I go back to his apartment. I didn’t protest because truthfully, I didn’t want to let Logan out of my sight as well. We had been so close to losing everything, only to get another chance. I didn’t want anything jeopardizing it.
Mack called later in the day, and he was stunned when he found out what had happened. We promised to keep in touch, although I doubted we would.
Logan took the next couple of days off from work and we spent it holed up in his apartment. We wanted to be in our own little world, safe in the warm cocoon of his place. The only time we ventured out was Tuesday night to take Emily to the airport. She was finally leaving for New York, and it was a tearful goodbye with promises to visit soon. It was hard to see her go, but Logan being by my side made it much easier. I also felt connected to Emily since Lola was back at Logan’s apartment waiting for us to come home.
We picked up dinner on the way home from one of our favorite Italian restaurants. We had a cozy dinner in the living room, eating ridiculously large portions of fettuccine alfredo and pasta puttanesca, with way too much bread. When we were stuffed, we cleaned up and snuggled on the couch, content just to be in each other’s company. Lola sighed and laid down next to the coffee table. I wondered if she was missing Emily.
“It’s going to be Christmas soon,” Logan commented. “I assume we’re going to be spending it together.”
I smiled at him. “I’d like that.” I lapsed into silence, lost in my thoughts. So much had happened the past few weeks that it was hard to process it all. One thing that was still bothering me was the picture Kristina had shown us of Logan and her after their alleged engagement. But as much as it bothered me, there was no point in wallowing in doubt about it, because the Logan sitting next to me knew as much about it as I did.
“What are you thinking about?” he asked.
“Just how happy I am to be here with you,” I answered, telling myself that was mostly true.
Logan jiggled his leg up and down nervously, which was unusual for him. One thing he had never lacked, both before and after his memory loss, was a sense of confidence. His fidgety behavior was uncharacteristic for him. I looked at him questioningly.
“Is something wrong?”
Logan smiled. “No, for once everything is right.” He paused before speaking again. “Maddie, I know you’ve been put through the wringer with everything that’s happened. I just want you to know that one thing you should never question is how much I love you.” He swallowed audibly. “I know I’ll love you forever, regardless of whether I regain my memory. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
Shock went through me when he took a small box out of his pocket and shifted so that he was down on one knee in front of me. He opened the box to reveal a large glittering diamond ring that made my eyes widen in astonishment.
“Maddie, will you marry me? I promise I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to make you happy.”
I gulped, wanting to shout yes, but I hesitated. The truth was, I didn’t know what Logan’s involvement with Kristina had been before the accident. As much as I wanted to believe nothing had happened between them, I couldn’t disregard that damning picture.
Logan’s expression of hopefulness fizzled out as I continued to sit there, staring at the ring and not saying anything.
“Should I take your silence as a no?” His voice was flat, devoid of his previous enthusiasm.
“No.” I quickly continued talking when I saw his face fall. “I mean, no, don’t take it as a refusal.” I sighed, feeling dejected by his proposal when I should be elated. But I couldn’t accept it, as much as I wanted to. “You don’t know what this means to me. You don’t know how much I want to say yes. But you’re missing large parts of your memory about Kristina. We’ve seen that she’s crazy and willing to do anything to be with you. Lying is nothing to her. But what about the picture of the two of you, with her wearing an engagement ring? What if you actually did ask her to marry you before you lost your memory?” I grimaced at the thought. Logan’s expression became more and more bleak as I spoke.
“I’m not doing this to hurt you,” I said earnestly. “I love you, Logan, and I want to marry you. But I can’t do that when there’s a possibility you were cheating on me with Kristina while you were in L.A.”
“So you are saying no.” Logan’s mouth twisted. “What if I never regain my memory? What then?”
I made a sound of frustration. “I don’t know. Can’t we just be happy being together, and take it day by day?”
Logan got up from the floor and sat back down on the couch, leaving a large space between us. He closed the ring box and threw it on the coffee table.
“Just forget I ever asked.”
My guilt over my hesitation was replaced by annoyance. How could he not understand that I just couldn’t blindly say yes?
“You’re not being fair. I’m not saying I don’t want to marry you. I’m just saying there’s no need to rush.”