Simon cracked another egg into the bowl. "Do you think it's because of not having a good relationship with your father and growing up without a mother?"
I sucked in my breath. Simon didn't seem to pull any punches in his questions. I wasn't used to people being so frank with me. People usually never mentioned my deceased mother because they didn't want to bring up an uncomfortable subject. That is, if they even knew me well enough to know my mother had passed away.
"Wow, that's some question," I turned off the electric mixer and looked up at him. "Isn't it a little insulting to ask me if I'm messed up because my mother is dead? And I never said my father and I didn't have a good relationship."
Simon shrugged apologetically. "I didn't mean to offend you. It just seemed as though you alluded to it at brunch the other day. And I don't think you're messed up. I'm just trying to understand you better."
"Simon," I said slowly, as if I were speaking to a child. "I'm pretty easy to understand. I have no deep dark secrets or skeletons in the closet." If he only knew. "I'm pretty straightforward so I'd appreciate it if you stopped asking me all these probing questions. You'd think you were a psych major instead of a music major."
Simon held up his hands in surrender. "Sorry," he apologized with a rueful grin. "I'll try to cut out the probing." He lifted an eyebrow devilishly. "The verbal ones, at least."
I smacked him on the chest but with a laugh. "Behave!"
Simon was a model student for the rest of the cookie making demonstration. After we had placed the baking sheet with the mounds of cookie dough in the oven, we decided to reward ourselves with Ding Dongs and soda while we watched TV on his sofa. We settled on a show pulling pranks on celebrities.
"You're a bad influence on me," I accused him, finishing off a Ding Dong. "I've eaten more junk food since I've met you than I have since the school year started. We're eating Ding Dongs while we wait for the cookies to bake. There's something innately wrong with that."
"You only live once," Simon replied, taking a large bite out of his chocolate cake. "Death by Ding Dongs doesn't sound too bad."
I felt as if I had been punched in the stomach. At his words, I was flooded with the image of his face stricken with terror, his eyes bulging out in pain and panic. The suffering on Simon's face was so palpable that I let out a sound of anguish, wrapping my arms around my stomach as I doubled over, clenching my eyes closed as I tried to eradicate the image from my mind.
"Caitlin!" Simon exclaimed with alarm as he grabbed me by my upper arms. "What's wrong?!"
I opened my eyes as I forced deep breaths into my lungs, feeling as if I was suffocating because I was unable to draw a full breath. I concentrated on Simon's cake that he had apparently dropped on the floor, staring stupidly at the white cream that was now visible from where he had taken a bite.
"Caitlin!" Simon repeated urgently, one hand going to my face to brush away my hair. "Are you in pain? Tell me what's wrong."
I forced my eyes away from the cake and looked up at him, willing myself to straighten. His joking words about death had triggered a rush of memory from my vision. The visceral reaction was unexpected. It had been hard, traumatic even, to meet the people in my visions and remember how they had died, but never to this degree.
I tried to smile, although it was tremulous and weak. Concern was etched across Simon's face, his eyes stormy and troubled. "Dammit, Caitlin. Say something."
"I'm okay, Simon," I said, trying to muster a smile again and was more successful this time. "I just had a sudden pain. Really, I'm okay now. It's gone."
Simon looked skeptical. "A sudden pain? It seemed like a lot more than that. It looked like you were going to pass out from it." His eyes grew alarmed. "What if it's something like appendicitis! We should go to the hospital to be safe."
I shook my head in panic. "No, I'm okay," I said emphatically. "Really."
"Caitlin," Simon lectured, his brow furrowed in concern. "I really think we should go to the hospital just to be on the safe side."
I unwrapped my arms and took a deep breath, this time being able to inhale fully. "Simon, I'm fine. It was just a, um-bad cramp."
"A cramp?" Simon repeated, still not looking convinced.
"Yes, just a cramp," I explained, flushing at my explanation and knowing what he would assume. I knew that assumption would stop his questions.
"Do you have your period now?" Simon asked, as if he was asking me what the weather was like today.
"Simon!" I screeched, smacking him on the arm. "You can't ask me that!" I thought I was going to die from embarrassment.
He laughed at my outburst. "What? I have women in my family. It's no big deal."
"Oh my God," I groaned, leaning back and laying my arm against my eyes, shutting him out. "I can't be having this conversation with you right now. I'm going to pretend that it never happened. For my sake." I had to admit that a part of me was happy that he had credited the women in his family for being unfazed about the topic, not past girlfriends.
Simon grabbed my arm off my eyes and I sat up, looking at him. He was grinning like a buffoon, evidently immensely pleased that he had shocked me. I shook my head but couldn't stop the answering grin from creeping onto my face. "You're impossible."
"That's part of my charm."
"I'm starting to seriously question your charm." I had to give it to Simon though. He had effectively banished all the shadows that had engulfed me moments ago. I leaned over and picked up the half-eaten Ding Dong from the floor. "I think this has surpassed the five second rule."