Chasing Shadows (Shadows 2)
Page 18
"No kidding! I've been waiting a long time for this!"
I grinned, although she made me promise to come get her if I needed to talk. I left the bathroom and quietly opened my bedroom door in case Simon had fallen asleep in my absence. It was unnecessary because he was lying down on the bed with his head propped up on his arm. He was under the covers so I had no idea what he was wearing on the bottom but I could clearly see that he was shirtless. His gaze traveled down my body and up again, and I was keenly conscious of the shorts and thin t-shirt I was wearing to bed. I hadn't given it a second thought when I grabbed the clothes I usually wore to bed, but now I was wishing I had changed into something bulkier, especially since I wasn't wearing a bra.
Simon lifted the edge of the bedcover invitingly, and I silently slipped inside next to him, not knowing what to say. For the first time, I realized how small my twin bed was. Simon stayed on his side as I laid on my back, staring up at him. He lifted a lock of my damp hair, rubbing it between his fingertips.
"Do you know how many times I've imagined you lying next to me like this?"
I shook my head, having lost the ability to speak.
"I'll admit, these aren't the circumstances that I imagined." Simon's eyes darkened as he dropped my hair and gently traced the outline of my lips with his finger. I knew what he was thinking about. "I didn't think our lives would be in danger. And I didn't think I would ever hurt you."
"Shh," I whispered, reaching up to grasp his neck and pull him down to me. "We already agreed it wasn't your fault. I don't need your guilt tonight, Simon. I just need you."
Simon groaned and gently captured my mouth with his. I increased the pressure, letting him know that I wasn't going to break in his arms. Simon took the hint and slanted his mouth over mine, cradling my head with his hand to keep me trapped for his onslaught. But I had no thoughts of escaping as I deepened the kiss, wanting to feel nothing but pleasure.
I mewled in anticipation when his hand drifted beneath my t-shirt, his touch igniting my skin, making me feel like I was on fire as he made his way closer to my breasts. My aroused nipples were already painfully hard and I moaned when he palmed them, relieving the ache yet magnifying it at the same time.
I didn't protest when Simon pushed my t-shirt up, baring me to him. His heated gaze roamed my body, his eyes blazing with desire.
"You're so beautiful."
I tentatively raised my hand to his chest, reveling in the smooth hardness of his chest that felt like satin over steel. Simon inhaled sharply when my hand grazed his nipple. I hesitated, my lack of experience making me bashful, but then I flicked it with my fingernail. "You're beautiful too," I said shyly.
Simon made a guttural sound, his jaw tightening, as he lowered his head, capturing an erect nipple in his mouth.
"Simon!" I cried out, as sensations of pure pleasure shot through me. I instinctively arched my back and he took more of me in his mouth, suckling hard. I moaned as he paid the same attention to my other nipple. Simon was wearing shorts but I could clearly feel how this was affecting him, and my body was responding in kind.
I was surprised when Simon stopped, lifting his head. "What's wrong?" I was surprised by how breathless I sounded.
"As much as I want this, I'm scared." Simon looked pained, his hand trembling as he caressed my cheek. "I can feel myself losing control. And if I lose control...what if I'm not able to fight off my vardoger and I attack you again?"
I took a deep breath as sanity returned. Simon was right. I was too consumed by desire to consider what this could do to Simon's control. That didn't lessen my disappointment although a small part of me was relieved. I didn't know if I was prepared to tell Simon just how little experience I had.
"You're right," I said in a small voice, pulling my t-shirt down.
"Don't think this has anything to do with me not wanting you." Simon leaned down and kissed me softly. "You don't know how much I want to rip your clothes off right now and kiss every inch of your body, but I love you too much to take the chance."
My cheeks flamed at his words, but pleasure coursed through me at the same time. "I want you too, but you're right. We have plenty of time after we get rid of the vardogers." I just hoped that was true.
Simon drew me close so that my head was tucked under his chin, my head resting on his shoulder. His bare chest was warm and hard, the beating of his heart soothing me.
"Try to sleep," Simon said softly, kissing the top of my head.
I looked up at him. "You should try to sleep too."
Simon's expression darkened. "I don't trust myself to sleep. What if my vardoger takes control of me again?"
I hesitated, because I wasn't sure if that was true. It would make sense that Simon was more vulnerable when he was asleep. But he would make himself sick if he didn't get some rest.
"Don't worry. I don't think that will happen. Even if it does, I'll be here to protect you."
Simon's lips tightened, and he pulled me closer so my head was nestled in the crook of his neck again. "I should be the one protecting you," he muttered gruffly.
I sighed and closed my eyes, not sure if I would be able to sleep, but Simon was so warm and I felt so safe in his arms that, despite everything, I dozed off without even realizing it.
Chapter Eight
I felt so peaceful and warm. The sun was shining and I raised my face, soaking in the pleasant rays. The grass was soft beneath me and I stretched languidly, feeling totally rested. I couldn't remember the last time I had felt so content.