“I want to marry you. You’re it for me. I’ve already told you that.”
“Not that. Before that.” Oh, God, please tell me I heard him wrong.
“I want to be more than—” Aiden’s words cut off. He licks his lips and drops his eyes to the floor. When he looks up, regret swims in his eyes. “I want to be more than boyfriend #22.”
Shocked, I walk backward until I hit the counter. He knows about the blog. I sputter out a half laugh. Oh, God, he knows about the blog. “How do you know about that?”
“Shit,” Calvin hisses.
I whirl around to face Calvin. “You know about it, too?”
He holds up his hands. “Please, leave me out of it.”
“Lizzie, it’s not a big deal,” Aiden says.
“Except it is,” I yell. “That was private. My heart and soul are laid out in those posts. I kept it from you—from everyone—for a reason. I didn’t want—oh my gosh. That’s how you found me, isn’t it? That’s how you knew I would be at the grocery store and the dog park.”
“Lizzie—”
“Answer me,” I say, the fight draining out of me.
Aiden’s eyes are wide and frantic. “Yes, that’s how I knew, but it doesn’t change anything.”
“It changes everything.” When he reaches for me, I step back. “I thought you being there was fate, but it wasn’t. God, I’m so stupid. It was you—”
“It was me trying to get you to see me,” he says, pounding a fist to his chest. “Yes, it was wrong of me to use your blog to find you, but I don’t regret it. I’ll never regret anything that led to us being together.”
His words slice through me. “How long have you known about the blog?”
“Since the day you went to the grocery store. I was getting laundry from your apartment, and your laptop was open to your blog post.”
“You should probably get a wake screen password,” Calvin suggests.
I cut my eyes to Calvin. “Yes, Calvin, I know,” I huff, my body slumping in defeat…along with my heart.
Aiden shifts, putting himself in front of me. “I shouldn’t have looked—”
“You’re right, you shouldn’t have.”
“—but I was desperate. You kept brushing me off, and I just needed you to see me. I needed you to see that I had changed, that I was worthy of your love, that we could be so much more than best friends.”
“Aiden.” A tear slips down my cheek, and I wipe it away. “You’ve always been worthy of my love.”
“So, you forgive me?” He yanks me into his arms and holds me while I cry, but for the life of me, I can’t find the strength to hold him back. “Please say you forgive me.”
“I don’t know what to think about all of this. It’s too much at once, and I… I need some time.”
“How much time?”
“I don’t know, but…” I swallow past the lump in my throat and step out of his grasp. “You should take the job, Aiden.”
“Lizzie.” Hurt flashes across his face, causing another wave of tears to tumble down mine. “I—”
“It’s your dream. You’ve talked about this for years, and I can’t let you throw it away for me, and I”—the words get stuck in my throat, but I push them out—“I can’t go with you.”
“I’m not leaving you.”
The thought of him leaving hurts like hell, but him turning down his dream job because of me will obliterate me. And maybe if the circumstances were different, I could throw myself into his arms and say, “Yes! Yes, I’ll go with you.” But they aren’t. The fact of the matter is that he didn’t tell me about the job offer or the relocation, and he used my blog against me. And, yes, I know I’m awful for holding that against him even though it ended with us being together, but it doesn’t erase the feeling of betrayal.