Crazy Sexy Love (Dirty Dicks 1)

“No.” He tugs my arm, pulling my body flush against his. I take a small step back, not wanting to hurt his shoulder, not sure I can handle being that close. His left arm is still in a sling, but that doesn’t stop his right hand from sliding up my arm to wrap around the back of my neck. Using his thumb, he lifts my face to meet his. “I need to know what she was talking about.”

“Then why don’t you go ask her?”

“Because she’s drunk, and I’d much rather hear it from you.”

I squeeze my eyes shut, and Rhett brushes away the tears that fall.

“God,” I whimper. “This is so embarrassing.”

“What? Why are you embarrassed? You have no reason to be embarrassed.”

“Yes, I do.” I sniff and lower my chin to my chest. “Because she’s right; you’re better off without me.” My voice cracks on a sob, and I pull away, but he reaches for me again.

He cradles my face and drops his forehead to mine. The familiar smell of him causes my heart to ache, and I cry for the stupid teenager I was and the foolish adult I’ve become.

“That can’t possibly be true. Mo, I can’t tell you how much I’ve missed you. Even after you cheated, I still wanted you in my life. But since that’s not what you wanted, I’ve tried to move on. Why do you think I’ve stayed away from Heaven and threatened my family within an inch of their lives if they mention your name?”

I laugh, though it sounds like a strangled cry. “Don’t you get it? That isn’t what I wanted. I was doing it for you.”

“Doing what? Mo, baby, I’m so confused. Please, tell me what you’re talking about.”

“I don’t know where to start.”

“The beginning, Mo. Start at the beginning.”

The beginning. The beginning seems so long ago. I step away, out of Rhett’s grasp, and tilt my head back. Hundreds of stars are scattered across the silky night sky. The moon is full and bright, sort of like my future with Rhett before it was ruined.

Despite all the revelations so far tonight, there’s a good chance Rhett isn’t ready for the truth. But I’m ready to give it to him.

I clear my throat. “Two months after you left for the PBR, and I left for college, my dad had a stroke. The doctors told me he’d never be the same again, and they were right. He was paralyzed on the right side of his body, and I had two options: I could either bring him home, where he’d require round-the-clock care, or I could put him in a nursing home—and you can bet your ass that second option wasn’t really an option.”

“Mo—”

“I was scared,” I say, cutting him off. “Scared and alone, and all I wanted was you. I wanted you to wrap your arms around me and tell me everything was going to be okay, and selfishly, I wanted you to come home. I called you three times that night. Left three voicemails begging you to call me back, but you never did.”

“Mo, I—”

“Please, let me get this out.”

Rhett nods, but he doesn’t look very happy.

“I figured you were busy, and with our crazy schedules, we’d gone several days without talking to each other before, so I waited until the next morning and tried again, only that time a woman picked up.”

“Nikki.”

I nod.

“She said she was part of your team, but I didn’t realize she was your manager’s daughter. I told her who I was and that I desperately needed to talk to you. She said you were busy—an interview or something. She promised you’d call as soon as you were done, but you didn’t, so I called back a few hours later. That time when she answered, I told her what had happened and that I needed you to come home.”

Closing my eyes, I relive that horrible phone call, which resulted in a lie that forever changed the course of this relationship.

“She told me I was being selfish,” I explain, keeping my eyes closed. “She told me how well you were doing, how hard you’d worked and all the sponsors you had. And she said that year was your chance—that you could win the world championship.”

I take a deep breath and open my eyes to look at Rhett in the dark. “But she said if you left to come home, you might never get it back. Your chance would have passed, and I’d have done nothing more than ruin your dreams right along with my own.”

Even now I remember how her words swirled around my grief-stricken brain. I’d felt so alone in that moment, so overwhelmed by the decisions I had to make.

“She told me to figure it out, to find a way to solve the problem,” I whisper.