Crazy Sexy Love (Dirty Dicks 1)

Monroe

Rhett’s eyes are ringed by dark circles, the dark strands of his hair are sticking this way and that, and the stubble across his jaw looks like it hasn’t seen a razor in days.

I hate seeing him like this.

“You told me you slept with Charlie, hung up on me, wanted to call back and tell me it was all a lie, but you couldn’t make yourself do it. That’s where you left off.”

His voice cuts through the air, along with a sharp gust of wind, and I look him in the eye.

“It took a few weeks, but my head finally cleared enough to catch up with my heart, and I knew I had to come clean. I knew I couldn’t live the rest of my life with you thinking the worst of me, and I shouldn’t have let Nikki tell me what to do; I just didn’t know how to go about telling you. It couldn’t be over the phone. I wanted to talk in person, show you how sorry I was. Then Coop called one night and told me you’d be in town for your parents’ fortieth wedding anniversary party.”

Rhett’s face pales as I speak.

“I spent the last of the money in my savings account to buy a dress—”

“And I showed up with a date.”

I’ll never forget the pain that ripped through me when Rhett walked in with a beautiful blonde. “I couldn’t believe you’d moved on so quickly.”

“I hadn’t,” he says softly.

“At the time, I didn’t know who she was, but I recognized her the second you two walked into the bar last week. It was Nikki.”

“Shit,” he groans. Pushing his fingers into his hair, he steps off the porch to pace alongside his truck. “We weren’t together,” he says. “She was the daughter of my manager, learning her father’s trade, and I didn’t want to show up alone and risk seeing you there with Charlie.”

“When I saw you out on the dance floor with Nikki, I realized I’d already lost you.”

He shakes his head, confused. “You hadn’t lost me. I was hurting, but I would’ve forgiven you. I would’ve taken you back.”

“I lost you long before I broke up with you, Rhett. One look at you and I could tell your time away from home had changed you. Your shaggy hair was gone, styled in one of those preppy spikes we always made fun of, and you were wearing a suit. Every other guy at the party was in flannel and denim, but not you. You were in a tailored suit, Rhett.”

“I was still the same person.”

I shake my head, swallowing hard as the memory passes through me. “It didn’t seem that way, and I didn’t fit with you at all. I was so proud of you, though—proud that you’d gotten out of this town and made something of yourself, and proud that you looked happy, even if your happiness wasn’t shared with me.”

“God, Mo, why didn’t you come talk to me? Slap me across the face and force me to listen to you?”

“I was going to…” I tell him. “I was waiting until you were alone, so I hung back from the party, watched from afar. But she wouldn’t leave your side. At one point she spotted me watching you, and I thought for sure I’d been caught, but then she smiled, wrapped her hand around your arm, and pulled you onto the dance floor. She kept touching you and pressing herself close to you, all while keeping an eye on me. Looking back, I think she knew exactly who I was. I’ve never wanted to punch someone so badly in my entire life. I wanted to rip her away from you, scream that you were mine, but I’d already made sure that wasn’t the truth.”

I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Finally you stepped away, and I followed you.”

“Jesus Christ,” Rhett huffs, stepping back onto the porch. “Mo, I don’t know what you saw, but—”

“I saw everything.”

His head falls.

“She followed you into the woods. I saw the surprised look on your face when you realized she was behind you.”

If I close my eyes, it’ll put me right back there in the trees—the smell of grassy earth, pine needles, and my dime-store perfume. So I keep my eyes open.

“You reached for her hand, and it felt like you were tearing my heart out of my chest.” My voice cracks as I sob, and I put a hand over my mouth, trying to hold it in. “God, Rhett. I watched you pull her close, push her up against a tree, and—”

“Stop. I get it; I was there,” he growls. “Jesus, Mo, why did you watch that?”

“I had to,” I whisper. “It was the only way to keep from throwing myself at you down the road, from begging you to forgive me and take me back. I had to let you go, Rhett.”

The clouds roll in, bringing some much-needed rain. The first drops fall, offering nothing more than a slight drop in temperature.