I close my eyes. “Turn it off.”
“I can’t believe you agreed to this,” Linc says. “You’re crazy, you know that? No man in his right mind would willingly get on Lucifer—especially again.”
I look up at him. “I have to.”
“You don’t.” Linc shakes his head.
“If you’re trying to prove something, forget about it,” he continues. “It isn’t worth your life. Did you see what happened to Rodriguez out there earlier tonight?”
“No, and don’t tell me. I’d rather not know.”
“It’s not too late to back out,” he offers.
“I’m not backing out.”
“Is this about the money? Because you don’t need the money.”
I’ll always need the money, but that’s not what this is about. “I need to do this for me.”
Linc takes a deep breath and looks around. When his eyes return to me, they’re full of spit and fire. “Then you better stay on that bull for the entire eight seconds. So help me God, if you don’t walk out of that arena, you’ll wish you’d never accepted this ride. For the first time since I met you, you’ve got something more than the bull and buckle to go home to, something to live and breathe for, and she’s a whole hell of a lot more important than conquering some bull.”
“I know.”
I realize that the bonus ride is a needless risk now that Mo is back in my life, but I have to do it anyway, for myself. Her showing up tonight is all I needed to confirm that she’s in this just as deep as I am, and I’m ready to walk away if that’s what we decide is best. But it’s a decision we’ll make together. I’m ready to hang up my rope and hat and help her chase her dream and our future, whatever that may be.
“I’m going to be fine,” I assure him.
“I sure as hell hope so. Come on, we’ve got to go get you ready.”
Five more guys ride, and then the bonus event is announced. The crowd goes wild, people rising into a standing ovation while I get myself into position on Lucifer. Slinging my leg over his back, I let it slide down his side. His eyes dart back, locking on mine, and it’s as if the damn bull remembers me. Thrashing to the left, he slams us against the gate. My crew lifts me up before he can crush my leg. He continues to thrash
around for several seconds before finally settling down, and that’s when I realize my dad is still gone.
“Where’s my dad?” I holler to Linc.
He glances around and shrugs. “He’ll be here. Get yourself situated.”
It takes a little longer than normal to get my hand positioned in the rope. Adrenaline rushes through my veins, causing my arms and legs to tingle. I shake my free hand out, wiggling my fingers as though I’m warming up, and that’s when I realize it isn’t excitement that has me riled up. It’s fear.
In that moment, my whole life stops.
What if something happens? What if I get thrown off, kicked in the head, and have permanent brain damage? What if I never get to see Mo’s beautiful smile again, or hear her laugh?
What if I never get the chance to tell her I love her?
I can’t breathe.
I can’t speak.
All I can do is frantically search for Mo in the stands, because I need to see her. I need to know she’s still here.
“What’s wrong?”
I hear Dad’s voice behind me. I want to ask him where he went and what took him so long, but I can’t focus on anything but Mo.
“Where’s Mo? She isn’t in her seat.”
“Don’t worry about Mo,” he says. “She’s fine. You need to concentrate, because you’re about to ride this bull, and you have to focus on what you’re doing.”