I do feel a little guilty about leading her to believe that, but in my defense, she was a complete stranger and didn’t need to know I had a child. Scrunching my nose, I shake my head.
“You lied to me.”
My mouth drops open. Is she serious? “You told the entire town you’re my fiancée.”
Shit. I forgot about that.
“No,” I correct. “I told Penny I was your fiancée.”
“Same difference. Point is, you lied too.”
“You’re right.” I drop down on the couch next to Noah. It’s only ten a.m., and already I feel drained. “So we’re both liars who are insanely attracted to each other, and now we’re next-door neighbors. Where in the world are we supposed to go from here?”
“I have no idea.” He slumps back on the couch, his eyes searching mine.
“I guess the answer is pretty easy. We’re both adults, right? And we’ve already established that we’re attracted to each other. Isn’t this what single adults do? Find someone they’re attracted to and act on it? So really, we’re just adulting.”
“I can’t adult.”
“Sure you can. It’s easy. Watch.” I scoot forward on the couch, inching my way closer to him in the process. “I like you, Noah, and I haven’t liked anyone in a long time. Would you like to go to dinner with me?”
I fold my trembling hands together in my lap, trying to hide my nerves. It took a lot for me to do that. I’ve never asked a guy out, and I have to give props to the girls who do it all the time, because that shit is hard.
But what’s even harder is seeing the look on the guy’s face and realizing he’s about to reject you. Noah’s face is awash with pity and guilt, and it’s like tiny pin pricks to my wounded heart. This is most definitely not something I ever want to experience again.
“You know what?” I wave my hand in the air. “Forget I asked that.” I push up from the couch, but Noah snags my wrist, pulling me back down.
“If I could say yes, I would.”
Well, that should make me feel better. Except it doesn’t. “But you can’t?”
Noah takes a deep breath and blows it out. “I own my own business. Most weeks I work more than full time, and to top it off, I’m a single father. Honestly, I don’t have time to date.”
“So, what? You’ve been celibate since Nova was born?”
“No,” he says carefully. “I just don’t date.”
It takes a second for his words to sink in, but when they do, I nod. “Got it. You have flings.”
“One-night stand, fling, whatever you want to call it.” He looks over my shoulder before bringing his eyes back to mine. “And that makes me sound like an even bigger asshole, doesn’t it?”
I wish, because that would make it easier to walk away.
“No, it makes you sound human.”
“You’re not a fling kind of girl, Lennon, and I’m not sure I’m ready to share my time with anyone but Nova. Truthfull
y, I’m not ready to share her either. For the past five years it’s just been the two of us, and I like it like that. Plus, I don’t want to bring someone into her life just to have them leave. She’s been through enough.”
I open my mouth to ask more, but Noah cuts me off.
“So no, as much as I want to, I can’t go to dinner with you unless it’s strictly as friends. And even then, there has to be a no-touching, no-flirting, no-looking-sexy rule.” He grins. “I have a feeling if you’re part of the equation, that’s going to be really fucking hard.”
I can’t help it; I smile. Noah rejected me, and I’m smiling at him. Because I get it. I understand where he’s coming from. I may not agree with it, but I get it.
“So, friends?” I ask.
“I’d like that.”