Blood rushes in my ears as I remember how pissed I was. “I didn’t even know he was using, and when the police confronted him, he lied and told them the drugs were mine. Long story short, we were both arrested. He came clean a few days later, and the charges against me were dropped. But by then the damage was done. The story was already everywhere. The media and paparazzi were relentless. Pictures from those nights haunted me, and they haunted my father, putting a strain on the campaign. My father forced me to take a drug test, which of course came back clean because I’ve never touched drugs in my life, and Mathis’s father forced him into rehab. He finally admitted he’d started using not long after we broke up.
“For weeks I was followed every single day. And my father couldn’t leave his house without being bombarded by cameramen just waiting to assault him with questions about me, and that’s when he and his assistant got the bright idea that I needed to get away—away from the city and the media and Mathis.
“I was frustrated and angry at the whole situation, but determined to make the best of it, and then I met you,” I say, looking Noah in the eye. “I met you and realized none of that stuff mattered. Mathis didn’t matter. The lies and articles, none of it mattered.”
Noah brings his hands back to my face. “I need you to forgive me, Lennon.”
“I understand why this was hard for you to hear and process, and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I should’ve said something when you told me about Kim, but I was scared to lose you. I should be the one asking you for forgiveness. I would give anything to rewind time and tell you sooner. I’m so sorry, Noah. I never meant to hurt you. You have to believe that.”
With my face cradled in his hands, Noah shakes his head. “You don’t have to apologize, Lennon. I should’ve believed you. I should’ve trusted what I already knew about you, not what I saw on the internet.”
“It’s okay,” I whisper. “I understand why you didn’t.”
He hugs me for a moment and then says, “You invested in Ricky, Lennon. Why did you do that?”
My eyes widen. Of course Noah found out about that. “Because you believe in him, and I believe in you, and it seemed like a good investment.”
“And you made my daughter a dress. Why?”
“Because I love her.” I smile, picturing her in it.
Noah gives me chagrined look. “I didn’t give Nova the dress right away.”
“Oh, no?” I ask.
“And that’s one of the stupidest things I’ve ever done,” he adds in a rush. “She loves the dress, Lennon. She loves you.”
God, that hurts, knowing I won’t get to see her in it. “I’m glad she likes it.”
“I don’t want to talk about Nova. I want to talk about you and us and how sorry I am. Finding your letter to Nova and finding out what you’ve done for Ricky reminded me of who you are, reminded me of all the reasons I fell in love with you. They—okay, and Mikey—gave me the motivation I needed to get off of my ass and re-evaluate everything you’d told me, as well as my life.”
He just told me he’s in love with me, and I desperately want to hear him say it again, but I won’t ask. I don’t know what to think or what to do right now.
Finally I say, “And what did you find out after you sorted through everything?”
“That my life is better with you in it. Nova’s life is better with you in it. You bring a peace that I didn’t know was missing. You fill a void I didn’t know was empty, and I was a fool to push you away.”
“How did you find me?”
“It wasn’t hard.” Noah grins that panty-dropping grin, and I instinctively push myself closer to him. “I spent nearly fifty bucks on Starbursts, but once I handed over all the pink ones, Charlotte gave up her tickets for tonight.”
My heart constricts.
“Did you come by yourself? Is Nova here?” I ask, looking around.
“No. Mikey came with me. He’s here somewhere. Probably at the bar.”
We both laugh, and then Noah’s face grows somber.
“About that apology I owe you…”
I squeeze Noah’s hands, using them for leverage to keep me upright, because these are the words I’ve been waiting for, the words I’ve needed to hear.
“It was wrong of me to believe the media over you. I was shocked and hurt, and I know that’s not an excuse, but it’s the truth. For a second, it was Kim all over again, and all I could think about was Nova and how I didn’t want to put her through that, but I wasn’t fair to you. I lost sight of us there for a minute, but I’m done screwing up.”
I give him a look, and he shrugs.
“Okay, I’m sure I’ll still screw up. But I promise I’ll never second-guess you again. I’ll never walk away without truly hearing your side, and I swear to God, if you let me, I’ll love you, Lennon, with every fiber of my being, every second of every day for the rest of my life.”