“My birthday wasn’t celebrated. There was no party, no cake, and there sure as hell weren’t gifts, but they did allow me to spend my birthdays down by the lake. It was about a mile from their house, and I was allowed an entire day there by myself. I think they just liked it because I wasn’t in their hair. I started looking forward to that one day every year.”
Closing my eyes, I release myself to the memory. “For those few hours, I was back in Chicago with my family. I would spend the day talking to my parents about my hopes and dreams, and when the sun would set, I’d stare up at the stars and imagine what my life would’ve been like had I not lost my family.”
I blink my eyes open. They’re filled with unshed tears. “On my eighteenth birthday, I took a walk down by the lake, and when I returned, the few belongings I had were packed in two separate bags, which were sitting on the porch, and the front door was locked.”
I laugh bitterly as I remember how it felt sitting on the front step, waiting for the Blacks to come home. “I waited outside for three hours before taking a rock out of the landscaping and breaking in through one of the windows.”
Rex sits frozen, eyes wide and swimming with a mixture of sorrow, pain, and anger as he waits for me to continue.
“The furniture was there, but that’s it. Everything else was gone. Their clothes, toiletries, shoes, dishes—all of it gone.”
Except for a bank book sitting on my bed. It was the first time I’d seen the little black book, so imagine my surprise when I opened it and saw my name written inside. But I don’t dare tell Rex about that.
“I’d been gone for three hours—three hours—and they packed up and left without a word.” I shrug. “But none of that really matters, because that day my life changed even beyond that.
“With a bag slung over each shoulder and a twenty-dollar bill I’d had stuffed in a shoebox under my bed, I walked two miles to town and found the closest diner.”
A smile touches my lips as I remember a tall, lanky JJ leaning against the counter. “That’s where I met JJ. He saved me that day,” I whisper. “He became my first friend and eventually reminded me what it was like to be loved, and I’ll never be able to repay him for that.”
My voice cracks on the last word, and Rex’s arms wrap around me like a vice.
He holds me tight, my face cradled against his neck, and I press my lips there, grateful that I’m right where I want to be.
“Shae, I’m so sorry.” His words are spoken against the side of my head. The longer I stay silent, the tighter he holds me.
Right here in Rex’s bedroom, with my face in his neck, I cry. I cry for everything I lost and all the things that were taken away from me. But most of all, I cry for the woman I’ve become—a woman who’s been scared to let people in, a woman who was so terrified of losing another person that she refused to allow herself to love and take chances.
No more.
That woman is gone.
Shae Black has disappeared with the weight of my childhood, and it’s high time I find Bianca DiMarco again.
My sobs turn into hiccups, and when my tears are dry, I lift my heavy head and meet Rex’s eyes. Sliding his fingers into my hair, he pulls me close and brushes his lips across mine. The kiss is gentle, sweet, and everything I need after baring myself to him.
Dropping my forehead to his, I give a tremulous smile. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I’ve never told anyone. I’m sorry I told Dante—”
“Shae.” He sighs. “I shouldn’t have—”
I press a finger to his lips. “Yes, you should. I like you, Rex, and you were right, which is why I wanted to give you the truth. I wanted to open myself up to you, and I want you to know that I’m in this. Whatever this is. I want you to know who I am and where I come from the same way I want to learn everything there is to learn about you and where you come from. We all have secrets—Lord knows I have many more than what I’ve told you today—but this was the foundation; this is what molded me into the person I am today.”
“I happen to like the person you are today.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” He nods, drawing me in for ano
ther kiss. This time his tongue sweeps into my mouth, starting off slow before picking up speed and urgency as his hands travel down my back.
With hungry lips, greedy hands, and soft moans, we make out like teenagers. My stomach growls, and Rex stops, insisting that he feed me. Hungry and emotionally spent, I readily agree. We order take out, and after we eat I try to leave, knowing Rex probably needs to get back to work. But he brushes me off.
“I work all the damn time. Dante can handle things for today.”
We spend the next several hours laughing, talking, and making out as the afternoon fades to night. Somehow we end up lying in bed facing each other, and when we finally pull apart we’re breathing heavily, our lips swollen and wet.
Grinning, I reach for his cock, but he stops me.
I’ll never get enough of this man.