“You look horrible, Laney,” she says, appearing as if she’s seconds away from panicking. “You didn’t look this bad last night.”
“I feel horrible.” My hands find my head and I rub gently at my temples, trying to alleviate the pain behind my eyes.
“I’m going to call Levi—”
“No. Please don’t,” I whisper. If I talk any louder, my head will explode. “Let him have this.” She nods, but her lips are pursed and I can tell she isn’t happy about it.
“Can you get up?” she asks, helping me swing my legs to the edge of the bed. She offers me her arm and pulls me to a sitting position, and I manage to push myself up the rest of the way. Slowly, I shuffle toward the bathroom and collapse on top of the toilet seat. “Laney, there is no way you can get in that shower by yourself.”
“I know,” I grunt, sucking in the deepest breath I can. “Will you call Luke or Benny?” She scurries from the bathroom and within seconds she’s back, the phone to her ear. It doesn’t matter that she’s three feet in front of me; I don’t hear a word she’s saying. My lungs feel like they’re on fire, and despite my concentration on taking slow, deep breaths, I still feel like I can’t breathe.
“Luke is on his way.” She squats down in front of me. “Do I need to call Dr. Hopkins?”
“No.” My eyes drift shut and I lean forward, resting my elbows on my knees because the strength it’s taking to sit up is just too much. My body is aching, my muscles loose like noodles, and right now my head is spinning so fast that I may very well throw up if I try to move. “We’ll just go in a little early. Can you help me get dressed?”
Mia jumps up from the floor and runs into my room. When she comes back, I don’t even bother to look at what she picked out for me. I brace my hands on the sink as she slips my sweat pants from my body, lifting each foot when she needs me to so she can put my clean pants on. Letting go of the sink, I raise my shirt over my head and drop it on the floor next to me. When Mia doesn’t make a move to help me put my shirt on, I look up and find her staring at me. Her eyes are quickly filling with tears and her hand is covering her mouth. My brows knit together and she lowers her hand.
“I’m sorry,” she says, shaking her head. “I’ve never seen your scar before.” I look down at myself and back to her.
“I’m sorry.” I move to cover myself up and she grabs my arm.
“No, don’t be sorry. It’s just . . .” Her eyes search my face and a small smile touches her lips. “You’ve never offered to share this part of your cancer with me, and I just wasn’t expecting it.” She kneels down in front of me and grips my hand in hers. “I shouldn’t have reacted like that. I’m so sorry. I just . . . it’s just . . .”
“It’s a lot to take in when you see it for the first time,” I interrupt, fighting back the cough that’s tickling my lungs.
“It is,” she nods. “Thank you for showing me.” Without saying another word, she helps me into my bra and pulls my t-shirt over my head just as the front door slams. Footsteps bound down the hall and then a gentle knock sounds at the bathroom door.
“It’s open,” Mia hollers as she bends down to help me with my socks and shoes. Luke peeks his head around the corner and when he sees it’s all clear, he walks in. I look up at him, the movement causing a sharp pain to radiate across the front of my head. I suck in a quick breath and squeeze my eyes shut.
“What the fuck,” Luke growls. “Laney?”
“She’s feeling worse,” Mia answers for me.
“Well, no shit,” he snaps, and I crack open an eye. “You look like hell, Laney. Why didn’t you call me sooner?” I hate seeing this look on Luke’s face. I hate seeing him hurt because of me. “Have you called Levi?” he asks. Mia leaves the bathroom and returns with my coat. My arms hang limply at my sides as she gently squeezes me into it.
“No, and we’re not going to,” I tell him firmly. “He needs to do this, Luke. It’s important.” Luke rolls his eyes, but I continue. “And I didn’t call sooner because I was going to see the doctor anyway.”
“Luke, will you go get Laney’s purse and I’ll help her get to the car?” Luke grunts and bends down to pick me up, cradling me in his arms. “Okay, never mind.” Mia rolls her eyes and walks out of the bathroom. “I’ll get her purse.”
My head flops onto Luke’s chest and he pulls a hat over it before kissing my cheek. “I need you to get better.” His voice is thick, but I don’t look up at his face because I’m not sure how much I can handle right now. A whispered “I know” is about all I can get out.
Mia opens the front door and Luke follows her out to the car. He slides me into the back seat and then props my body up next to his with an arm around my shoulders. My teeth are chattering nonstop and Luke snaps at Mia to turn up the heat. My eyes bob heavily as I concentrate on my breathing, which seems to be getting worse. In. Out. In. Out.
“You okay, sis?” I try to move my head, but it feels too heavy and I can’t seem to get it to move. “Drive faster, Mia,” Luke shouts.
“We’re almost there.” I can hear the fear in their voices, and for the first time since I’ve gotten sick, I’m truly afraid. My body feels like it’s shutting down . . . throwing in the towel . . . giving up. It’s as if I’m completely helpless—an outsider looking in, watching it all unfold, one labored breath at a time.
“Damn it, Mia, how much further?” I stretch my neck to look out the window, but it’s useless—I can’t see a damn thing.
“Almost there, so don’t fucking yell at me!” Her voice breaks at the end and normally I’d roll my eyes and tell her to ‘man up,’ but I’m about a minute away from losing it myself.
I put a hand to Laney’s forehead. She’s burning up. A fine sheen of sweat is dabbled across her forehead and her body is shivering uncontrollably next to
mine. Her eyes are closed and I fight the urge to shake her awake. I just need to see her eyes so I know she’s still with me.
“We’re here.” Mia whips the car into a parking spot and throws it into park. “Want me to get a wheelchair?” she asks frantically, grabbing everything we need out of the car.
“No,” I bark. “Open the damn door so I can get her out of here.”