On unsteady legs, I make my way across the bar. Ty is playing pool with Levi and Cooper, his college roommates. This is the perfect time to approach him since Brit is standing at an adjacent table talking to some of her friends. I would prefer her not to be present for this conversation.
Levi greets my intrusion with a hug. “Hello, gorgeous." His hand roams down to the small of my back, and I smack it away playfully.
Poking his chest, I give him a firm look. "No ass grabbing tonight," I scold.
I lean against the back wall and watch as Cooper sweeps the table. That's my cue. Wasting no time, I kick off the wall and approach Ty. “Hey, got a sec?”
He cocks his head to the side, giving me a lopsided grin that makes my insides melt and my knees wobble. “Anything for you, you know that."
Taking a deep cleansing breath, I calm my nerves. “Can we step outside? Maybe somewhere a little more quiet?"
Tyson purses his lips, but he doesn’t protest. Instead he places his hand at the small of my back and steers me toward the side door.
“I think there are some tables outside in the back,” he says quietly.
I nod once and continue for the exit. Tyson opens the door and a rush of hot air greets us before he guides me to the right and toward the back of the building, where we locate a group of picnic tables. We walk quietly side-by-side while I give myself a pep talk.
Breathe.
You can do it.
Breathe.
What’s the worst that could happen?
Don’t forget to breathe.
We stop by one of the tables and I grab Ty's arm, preventing him from sitting. “I think you’re going to want to stand for this."
I know him all too well, and I’m sure that within the next two minutes he’ll be pacing like a bull.
“Okay. You’re starting to make me nervous, Harley. Is everything okay?" He runs his hand through his hair, giving it that I-just-had-wild-monkey-sex look, and then he shoves both hands into his pockets.
I take a deep breath and blow it out slowly. It’s now or never. “I love you.”
Smiling sweetly, he replies, “I love you, too.”
I shake my head, pinning him with my stare, trying to convey how much my feelings have morphed from friendship into something more. “No. I love you, love you, Ty."
At first he just looks at me, and I’m not completely sure he understands what I’m saying.
But then I see it.
Acceptance, relief, and fear flash quickly through his eyes, before settling on the one thing that makes this all worth it: love. Pure love.
My body sags with relief. This was the right move.
My small bubble of hope is quickly popped as Tyson's expression changes. His face turns cold. His eyebrows narrow. He shakes his head slowly. He looks over at me and then stares at the ground, clenching his fists. When his eyes land back on mine, the love that I saw a second ago is gone. But it was there. I saw the adoration in his eyes. He can fight it all he wants, but it was there.
“Don’t leave. Please don’t leave," I beg, my voice panicky. Desperation takes over. I cling to his arms, trying to get him to look at me, but he shrugs me away. “Stay. Please stay. Stay here with me. I love you." My words rush out, tumbling over each other. I can’t stop them. “I know you’re my best friend, but I love you. I’m in love with you. I want to be with you, Ty. Give me a chance...give us a chance." I reach slowly for his hand, needing to make some sort of contact, but he pushes me away. With his fingers tightly laced together, he placed his hands on his head and paces in circles.
"I know I'm asking a lot," I say, my voice thick with emotion. "I should have told you a long time ago, but I didn't, and I can't change that now."
Tyson keeps walking in circles, clenching and unclenching his fists.
I take a hesitant step toward him. "I know that this is incredibly selfish of me. I know I'm asking you to give up everything, but—"
"I can't believe this is happening," he interrupts. I don't respond because he doesn't give me the chance. "How long, Harley? How long have you felt like this?"