A Lover's Lament

“Do it again, Katie,” Mom says with a hint of a smile in her voice. “Move your fingers for me.”

I moved my fingers? Really?

“That’s it, Katie.” Mom’s voice is joyfully high, and I picture her jumping up and down, cheering like she used to do at my softball games. I hear a sequence of loud, solid beeps at the same time I feel my heart pound violently inside my chest. A steady ‘woosh-woosh-woosh’ pulses behind my ears.

Something is happening. I’m not sure what—and I sure as hell don’t have any control over it—but despite the urgent desire to try and move, I stay perfectly calm.

And then I feel it … a twitch, followed by another twitch … and another.

I hear the door open and then someone starts talking, but I’m too absorbed in the feeling of these little spasms taking place throughout my body to pay too much attention to the conversation. Out of nowhere, my eyelids get yanked open and I cringe when a bright light shines in my face. A garbled moan falls from my mouth, and I can tell by the burning pain ripping through my throat that an actual sound is coming out.

“Katie!” my mom squeals. “She’s awake! She’s moving!”

My eyelids feel heavy and weak, and each time I try to crack them open, the light in the room blinds me. Someone must notice because the next time I try to open them, the light is turned off, which makes it so much easier. I blink several times, and the blurry figure in front of me slowly comes into focus. “Mo-om,” I croak.

“Oh, Katie.” She buries her face into the side of my neck. Without thinking, I lift my arm. It’s heavy and sore, but I manage to drape it awkwardly over her shoulder as she cries. “I was so scared. I thought I’d lost you too.” Her words barely have time to register before my arm slips from her back and my eyelids drift shut, and despite my best effort, I can’t get them to open back up. “Katie?”

I thought I’d lost you too.

“It’s okay, Mrs. Devora. This is normal. I’m going to go let Dr. Cantrell know that she’s starting to wake up.”

What does that mean? Who else did she lose?

“Thank you—” Everything around me cuts to black, and my body goes limp as the dark hole sucks me in again.

“Hey, pretty girl.” Warm lips touch the side of my head. I have no sense of time, but I hope I wasn’t out too long. “I go home for thirty minutes to take a shower and change clothes, and you wake up. What’s that all about, huh?” My eyes flutter open and I catch a glimpse of Wyatt’s handsome face before they drift shut again.

“She’s stubborn as hell.” Bailey! Wyatt laughs at my sister’s accurate description, and the bed dips low next to my hip. “Always stubborn. Even when you’re unconscious.” Bailey’s breath fans the side of my face before she kisses me on the cheek. She whispers I love you, kisses me once more and pulls away.

Every muscle in my body screams when I try to shift in bed. My body feels bruised and battered, and I’m stiff as hell.

“Katie?” I peel my eyes open, and this time two faces are peering down at me. “Don’t move, sweetheart.” Wyatt is watching me with open adoration. That look, combined with the unshed tears glistening in my sister’s eyes, causes my chest to constrict. My gaze bounces around the room, and alarm bells begin ringing in my head when I notice the IV pole sitting off to the side. My eyes follow the tubing, which is attached to an IV in my arm, and a pulse oximeter is wrapped firmly around my middle finger.

Everything floating around in my head is still a jumbled mess, and I start to panic because, for the life me, I can’t figure out why I’m here.

“Wyatt?” My voice is hoarse and raw, and I desperately need something to drink.

Beautiful blue orbs are watching me, filling with tears, and I feel a few of my own slip down the side of my face. Wyatt reaches out and brushes them off my cheek. “I’ve missed you so much, Katie.”

“What happened? Why am I here?” I ask, trying to make sense of what’s going on. Why did he miss me? How long have I been here?

Bailey slides Wyatt a sidelong glance that he quickly returns, and it’s almost as though they’re having some sort of silent conversation. My eyes bounce anxiously between the two as I wait for someone to answer me. Obviously something bad happened or I wouldn’t be laid up in a hospital bed feeling like I got hit by a train.

I watch as my sister’s head lowers. She swipes a hand across her face and I can see, despite her attempt to hide it, that her chin is trembling. “I ca—” Her voice breaks and she shakes her head. “I can’t.” Lifting my hand, I reach for Bailey, but she spins away from me and runs out of the room.

Shifting in bed, I make a move to go after her and my entire body screams in protest. Sucking in a sharp breath, my gaze snaps to Wyatt and he runs a shaky hand down the front of his face. “What—” I shake my head, panic and fear settling thick in my bones. “What the hell is going on?”

“Katie—” Wyatt sighs and looks away. His jaw ticks several times, and when his eyes find mine again, they’re full of grief. “I think we need to wait for your mom to come back.”

My stomach churns as my mind races to try and make sense of what’s going on. I come up with absolutely nothing—and that frustrates me even more. “No, Wyatt.” With my eyes locked on his face, I reach for his hand. He wraps his fingers around mine and squeezes them lightly. “Tell me,” I beg.

But even as I say the words, snippets of memories and broken conversations flash through my mind.

My mom crying.

I’ve already lost so much.

I can’t lose her too.