A Lover's Lament

“Alright.” Sliding her chair back, she gets up, walks to the cupboard and grabs two wine glasses. “If that’s how you wanna play this.” I follow her movements as she strolls to the refrigerator and picks out a bottle of wine, then pulls the stopper from the top. Gripping the two glasses in one hand and the bottle clenched in the other, she falls into her seat at the table. “I’ve got all night, Katie.” There’s a smirk on her face when she fills both glasses with my favorite red wine and pushes one toward me.

“There’s only enough there for another two glasses.”

Her smile grows and she tips her goblet in my direction. “Well then, it’s a good thing I have two more bottles in my car … and a change of clothes.”

“Great.” I groan and tip my head back, draining half of my glass. It’s a damn good thing I don’t have to work tomorrow, because it sure would suck spending twelve hours in the hospital taking care of other people while nursing a hangover.

Placing the goblet on the table, I move it around slowly, waiting for her to say something. Maggie’s eyes sparkle with amusement, and I watch as she takes several small sips of her wine. Minutes tick by, and eventually she reaches for the newspaper on the counter and flips through the pages. She sure as hell isn’t making this easy on me, that’s for sure.

“You’re a pain in my ass.”

Maggie levels me with unyielding eyes. “Igualmente, my friend.”

“I hate it when you do that. You know I can’t understand Spanish.”

Maggie snorts with laughter as I finish off the Stella Rosa. Lifting up the bottle of wine, she refills my glass and then offers me a cocky smile. “Si dejaras de ser una perra, yo no lo haria.”

When she starts speaking Spanish, I typically just ignore her, because if I play into it, she won’t stop. She simply loves to torment me. So instead, my mind races, trying to figure out the best way to put into words what I’m feel

ing. When I draw a complete blank, I decide to just go for it.

Drawing in a deep breath, I push down the anxiety that is keeping me from opening up. “I’m not in love with Wyatt anymore.”

Maggie’s smile falters, and her shoulders rise and fall when she sighs. “I know.”

The casual way that rolls off her tongue irks me. “Really?” My tone is much sharper than I intend, and Maggie frowns at me. “How the hell did you know when I just figured it out myself?”

“Did you, though, just figure it out? Really?” Her eyes narrow and she crosses her arms over her chest. “Because I’ve seen it for at least the past year.”

“No,” I say firmly, unwilling to believe I could have been blind for that long. “The past several months, yes, but—”

“Seriously, Katie?” she snaps, pausing momentarily to look at me like I’ve grown a second head. My eyebrows are practically in my hairline as I wait for her to continue. “Fine. How often do you and Wyatt go out?”

“That’s not fair, Mags. You know damn well that I’ve pushed him away since Daddy died.” Just the mention of my dad’s death causes a thick band to constrict around my heart and my eyes instantly well up with tears.

I watch as regret replaces determination on Maggie’s face. “I’m sorry—”

“Don’t be.” Waving her off, I take another sip of my wine. “We should be able to mention it without me going into freak-out mode. Keep going…” I urge, wanting to move past this as quickly as possible.

“Okay, how often did you and Wyatt hang out before the accident?”

She already knows the answer to that because she’s always with us, but I know she’s trying to make a point so I play along. “A couple of times a week.”

She nods, accepting my answer. “And who was initiating those get-togethers?”

I open my mouth to reply and then quickly snap it shut. Son of a bitch. “Wyatt,” I whisper. My mind works furiously to recall a time when I initiated anything with him, and I come up completely empty.

“And how often have you sent me a last-minute text to come over and hang out with the two of you?”

No. There’s no way that I’ve been avoiding alone time with Wyatt. Right? We’ve spent plenty of time together, just the two of us. “Okay, yes, I would invite you over, but Wyatt always stayed the night after you left and we sure as hell weren’t knitting scarves in bed.”

“But don’t you see? He’s your fiancé, Katie. Not only do you guys not live together, but you don’t even spend every night together. Sean is just my boyfriend and we spend every single night together—alone. And I don’t doubt that you and Wyatt have been intimate, but I do question how much passion there is between you.”

Her words pierce through the armor that I’ve spent the last several months shielding myself behind. My leg bounces rapidly under the table. Nervous energy builds up inside me to the point that I feel like if I don’t move or do something, I’ll explode. A tiny part of me wants to blow up at Maggie, to tell her to fuck off and mind her own business, but I can’t. It’s been my defense mechanism for far too long, and it’s time I act like an adult.

“Fuck.” Burying my face in my hands, I groan. “What the hell is wrong with me?” Nausea rolls through my stomach at the thought that I’ve led Wyatt on, and I take a deep breath to try and keep from throwing up. She’s right. She’s completely right. “How did I not see this sooner?”

“Okay, first, nothing is wrong with you, sweetie.” Maggie’s soft hand lands on my arm and I look up, meeting her gaze. “Second, I don’t think you saw it because you didn’t want to see it. There is no doubt in my mind that you love Wyatt; you’re just not in love with him.”