“You’ll go back as Gia. A deputy is being sent to the St. Louis airport to escort you back to L.A.”
Her lips parted. If a police escort was being sent, then . . .
“You won’t be coming?” she asked hollowly.
She was avoiding looking at him, but she heard his heavy exhale. “No. You and I were going to drive the SUV back together before the trial date was moved up, remember? It belongs to a friend of mine. I have to return it. I’ll also need to clean the house and restock all the supplies we used.”
Her heart throbbed uncomfortably. She’d been looking forward to their return road trip together. That drive had been the silver lining. She’d known it would be an ending ritual for them, but it would have been intimate and special, now that they’d been honest about their desire for each other. Now that they’d stopped fighting it. A road trip between established lovers, the hours of enforced intimacy . . . well, it was the type of experience that could have been a game changer, a last-ditch possibility at saving what was so special between them.
It was the first time she really admitted to herself how much hope she’d been pinning on that return road trip. Now it was being snatched away.
“Gia—”
“No. Don’t say anything. We both knew this day would come,” she said, cutting him off. “I should go and pack.”
When she reached the bedroom, she shut the door, just in case Seth didn’t get the message that she wanted to be alone. For a few seconds, she just stood there, fighting down the feeling of misery threatening to choke her throat.
On Seth’s orders, she hadn’t made any outgoing calls on her cell phone or sent any text messages since leaving Los Angeles. But Seth had just told her the undercover operation was over. She was back to being Gia Harris once again. If she was going to make an exit from this cabin—from Seth’s life—she’d do it on her own terms. She couldn’t even consider the idea of a tear-filled airport good-bye with Seth tomorrow. It was so cliché and just . . . unbearable to consider.
Aching, but determined, she pulled out her suitcase and retrieved her cell phone and charger.
Gia Harris was back. It was time she took control of her life again.
* * *
Gia had just finished her packing when Seth walked into the bedroom. Shutting her suitcase, she stood and faced him. His brows were knitted together slightly as he studied her.
“You okay?” he asked quietly.
She nodded briskly, determined not to melt into a puddle, which is precisely what she felt like doing. “I was just thinking about the trial. It’s always seemed so far in the future, I haven’t really had time to consider what it’ll be like. Or maybe I just didn’t want to think about it,” she added under her breath with a mirthless laugh.
“You’re doing the right thing,” he said. Her gaze leapt to his face. “By testifying. By telling the truth. I know it’s been a huge inconvenience in your life, but I’m proud of you for doing it.”
Emotion tightened her throat. She swallowed thickly and glanced around the attractive, cozy bedroom, willing herself to calm.
“I’ll really miss this place,” she said.
“Yeah. It’s been amazing. Not the place. Being with you.”
Unwanted tears stung her eyes. He stepped toward her.
“Let’s talk,” he said.
“About what?” she asked, frustration and sadness making her sound desperate. “You’ve told me how you feel about us.”
“I don’t know how I feel about us. If I gave you the impression I have all the answers, I’m sorry. The circumstances have changed all that. You have. I know how I feel about you.”
She stared at him, aghast. For a few seconds, she just studied his bold features. They had become so familiar to her. She had learned to read him so well. Despite his words, she sensed his ambivalence, that same conflict she’d witnessed on his face when he’d been watching her reading to Daisy.
Her heart sank.
“The circumstances haven’t changed, Seth,” she said quietly. “You don’t think it would work between us in L.A., and I have my doubts too. I would shake up your whole world. And I don’t want to give up my work ethic or my dreams because you’re uncomfortable with them.” She threw up her hand and gave a sad bark of laughter. “It’s a catch-22.”
His face turned stony, but she sensed his anguish. Maybe it was because she’d fallen in love with him that she was so attuned to him, despite his impassive expression.
“When we started this, you said it would be best if we went our separate ways after it was all over,” she said, straining to keep her voice from shaking. “We both knew it would end.” She met his stare determinedly. “Well, the end has come.”
His mouth twisted slightly, like he’d just eaten something bitter. He’s worried he’s hurt you . . . damaged you somehow. The thought leapt into her brain, and she somehow knew it was true. It was so Seth, to worry about someone he cared about, to feel responsible for them.