“Say no more, Nathaniel.” Kitty spun around and started toward the road. “I understand now that it is because of our differences that you refuse to love me.”
“I do not refuse to love you.” Did she think she was the only one hurting?
Grabbing her shoulder, Nathaniel swung her around to face him. “You are not so innocent, Miss.” She tried to wriggle out of his grasp but he held firm.
Kitty scowled. “I don’t know what you mean.”
“For weeks I have pleaded with you to share your burden.” He gripped harder, pinning her motionless with his stare. “Love cannot be free to triumph where there is no trust.”
His spirit urged him to say more, pleaded with him to succumb to the desires he’d hidden so long. She must have seen his struggle, for the way her eyes darted between his, the way her breathing turned rapid, testified her need for him matched the longing in his heart. He could not resist. Forgetting his vow, he lowered his head and covered her soft mouth with his. The tightness of her muscles left her body like a receding wave against the sand and she released an audible whimper that sent Nathaniel’s pulse racing.
He held tight to her familiar frame, remembering all too well the way her curves molded against him. Her hands swept up his back and circled his neck, making his heart pound at the feel of her cool, slender fingers on his skin. Another quiet mewling sound escaped her throat and he lost himself in her embrace as the world around him faded. All that existed was the feel of her heart entwining with his.
Slowly, reason edged in the small spaces of his mind. He had to stop.
After tasting her mouth one last time, he pushed away. Resting his forehead against hers, listening to their shared-breathing, Nathaniel relished the feel of her breath cooling his lips.
Kitty closed her eyes. “We can’t pretend, Nathaniel.”
“Pretend?”
She pulled away, her blue-green eyes tearing through him. “We cannot pretend that you and I could ever make the kind of life together that you desire.”
He stepped back, the weight of her words crashing against him. “I’m not ready to surrender such a thing. Are you?”
“We cannot surrender something we never possessed.” She moved back, her full lips pressing tight. The finality in her tone drove holes through the sails of his dreams.
“Then I fear you and I shall never be one.” He shifted his jaw. “And there, my love, lies the overwhelming tragedy.”
Chapter Twenty-seven
Kitty froze.
Nathaniel’s words were a wintry wind, blowing against her heart that had just been stripped bare. She looked away, her body still humming where his chest and arms had pressed against her. “Nathaniel, I want to trust you.” Swallowing the lump in her throat she continued. “But once you learn of what I keep secret you will surely hate me.”
He leaned forward, cupping her shoulders. “I could never hate you.” He paused, his thumb making circles on her skin while his tender eyes pleaded with her to speak.
She gazed back at him, searching his eyes, and prayed. Dear Lord, Cyprian has vowed to hurt Eliza. I couldn’t live with such a thing. What do I do?
He took her hand and caressed it between his. “Answer me this. Are you happy?”
Kitty blinked. “Happy?”
“Are you, right now in your life, at liberty to enjoy the true happiness you desire?”
Her throat ached and she couldn’t keep back the answer. “I am not.”
His brow folded together and his voice dropped low. “Why?”
She frowned, answering in her mind as her eyes darted between his. Why? Because Cyprian has destroyed my life by forcing me to do something I know is wrong. He’s taken away my...
Suddenly the truth consumed her in a single wave. Her eyes grew wide and her breath quickened.
Cyprian had destroyed her freedom.
Freedom is life.
Kitty tried to breathe as the winds of this newly acquired knowledge blew against her. Could it be that... that the patriots were right?