Her lungs started a desperate quest for air. What could she say? The ugly truth must be exposed, but didn’t he already know?
Nathaniel stepped closer. “Deny it. I must hear you deny it.”
Thomas neared, his own tone heavy. “What is he speaking of, Kitty?”
Eliza came to stand behind Kitty and held her shoulders. “Nathaniel, come now, you know she would never do any such thing.”
Kitty reached out to grip the chair beside her as the room wavered. Dear Lord, give me strength!
Nathaniel stepped closer, looming only inches from her, his hazel eyes now darker than night. “Say it!”
“’Tis not what you think Nathaniel, if you’ll only let me explain!”
Nathaniel’s face contorted and he stepped back as if she were riddled with pox. The anger in his soft tone ripped the strength from her legs and she clutched the chair to stay erect. “You knew full well our desperation to keep the powder out of enemy hands and now I discover you were complicit!”
“Nay!”
“You are the enemy, Kitty.”
“Nay!” She lunged forward, choking on her tears. “Nathaniel please, I didn’t have a choice! If you will listen—”
“Enough!” A crack of thunder shook the house as he stormed to the door.
Kitty stumbled forward. “Wait!” She gripped his arm, her limbs unstable under the weight of his deadly glare. “Nathaniel, listen to me. This note was bound for Plymouth. James gave it to Henry, but he dropped it and I—”
“I refuse to listen to your lies.”
“Lies? No, Nathaniel!” She thrust the paper toward him, but he shoved her hand aside.
Without a second look, Nathaniel charged into the rain, wrenching Kitty’s heart from her chest as he left.
Tears burned and Kitty dared a glance at Thomas as Eliza rushed forward and gripped her around the shoulders. Kitty’s throat ached as tears flooded her eyes. Surely he didn’t believe she would be a willing accomplice. Thomas of all people would understand the terror of her enslavement and the ash that such blackmail left behind in its soul-destroying blaze.
Thomas’s austere expression slashed her heart. After a nod to Eliza he jerked his cloak off the hook and charged after Nathaniel into the rain.
Kitty whirled around, speaking through the quiver in her voice. “’Tis not what they think!”
Eliza pulled Kitty into her embrace. Her warmth chased away a portion of the bitter cold in her spirit, but couldn’t eliminate the chills. “I believe you.”
Disbelief shook Kitty’s frame like a dead leaf clinging to a branch in the wind. “He didn’t even give me a chance to explain.”
Another flash of light lit the heavens, followed by a clap of thunder that shook the ground. Eliza eased her sister away and pushed the door closed, never letting go of Kitty’s hand. “I’ll listen.”
Kitty’s chest strained and her throat ached until she feared her neck would burst. “I... I’m...” She cupped a hand over her mouth and dashed up the stairs to her bedchamber.
The walls swayed and the floor dipped beneath her feet. She fell onto the bed, her shoulders shaking. Painful regret curled around her bones and she tucked her knees to her chest.
What have I done, Lord?
Nathaniel’s slicing words cut through her. You are the enemy, Kitty!
No matter how she tried to explain, no matter if or when the truth was told, Nathaniel would hate her the rest of his days.
Dropping her head to her knees, Kitty curled her body tighter, praying as she wept that somehow she might discover how she could make it right—for God, and for the man she loved. Lord, I will do whatever thou dost ask of me to make right the wrongs I have done.
Wiping her cheek with her hand, Kitty stilled as her vision focused on the note in her hand. Her tears retreated and she pushed up, staring at the folded message. Blinking, she cleared the remaining moisture from her vision as the doors of her mind were opened. She sucked in a choppy breath and pressed the paper to her chest.
‘Tis the only way.