"Dad forgot supper," Duncan told her immediately.
"He forgot supper?" Helen said.
"He forgot all about it," Duncan said.
"Where is he?" Helen asked.
"He's taking a bath with Walt," Duncan said. "They've been taking a bath for hours."
"Heavens," said Helen. "Maybe they've drowned."
"Wouldn't you love that?" Garp hollered from his bath, upstairs. Duncan laughed.
"He's in a great mood," Duncan told his mother.
"I can see that he is," Helen said. She put her hand softly on Duncan's shoulder, being careful not to let him know that she was actually leaning on him for support. She felt suddenly unsure of her balance. Poised at the bottom of the stairs, she called up to Garp, "Had a bad day?"
But Garp slipped underwater; it was a gesture of control, because he felt such hatred for her and he didn't want Walt to see it or hear it.
There was no answer and Helen tightened her grip on Duncan's shoulder. Please, not in front of the children, she thought. It was a new situation for her--that she should find herself in the defensive position in a matter of some contention with Garp--and she felt frightened.
"Shall I come up?" she called.
There was still no answer; Garp could hold his breath a long time.
Walt shouted back downstairs to her, "Dad's underwater!"
"Dad is so weird," Duncan said.
Garp came up for air just as Walt yelled again, "He's holding his breath!"
I hope so, Helen thought. She didn't know what to do, she couldn't move.
In a minute or so, Garp whispered to Walt, "Tell her I'm still underwater, Walt. Okay?"
Walt appeared to think this was a fiendishly clever trick and he yelled downstairs to Helen, "Dad's still underwater!"
"Wow," Duncan said. "We should time him. It must be a record."
But now Helen felt panicked. Duncan moved out from under her hand--he was starting up the stairs to see this breath-holding feat--and Helen felt that her legs were lead.
"He's still underwater!" Walt shrieked, though Garp was drying Walt with a towel and had already started to drain the tub; they stood naked on the bathmat by the big mirror together. When Duncan came into the bathroom, Garp silenced him by putting a finger to his lips.
"Now, say it together," Garp whispered. "On the count of three, 'He's still under!' One, two, three."
"He's still under!" Duncan and Walt howled together, and Helen felt her own lungs burst. She felt a scream escape her but no sound emerged, and she ran up the stairs thinking that only her husband could have conceived of such a plot to pay her back: drowning himself in front of their children and leaving her to explain to them why he did it.
She ran crying into the bathroom, so surprising Duncan and Walt that she had to recover almost immediately--in order not to frighten them. Garp was naked at the mirror, slowly drying between his toes and watching her in a way she remembered that Ernie Holm had taught his wrestlers how to look for openings.
"You're too late," he told her. "I already died. But it's touching, and a little surprising, to see that you care."
"We'll talk about this later?" she asked him, hopefully--and smiling, as if it had been a good joke.
"We fooled you!" Walt said, poking Helen on that sharp bone above her hip.
"Boy, if we'd pulled that on you," Duncan said to his father, "you'd have really been pissed at us."
"The children haven't eaten," Helen said.