From here on, I thought--at the age of eighteen, as I lay in bed, seething--I'm the one who'll be "doin' the explainin'!"
Chapter 9
DOUBLE WHAMMY
I don't want to overuse the away word, and I've already told you how Elaine Hadley was sent away "in stages." As in any small town or village, where the public coexists with a private school, there were town-gown matters of disagreement between the townsfolk of First Sister, Vermont, and the faculty and administrators of Favorite River Academy--yet not in the case of Miss Frost, who was fired by the board of trustees of the First Sister Public Library.
Grandpa Harry was no longer a member of that board; had Harry even been the board chair, it is unlikely that he could have persuaded his fellow citizens to keep Miss Frost. In the transsexual librarian's case, the higher-ups at Favorite River Academy were in agreement with the town: The very pillars of the private school, and their counterparts in the public community, believed they had demonstrated the most commendable tolerance toward Miss Frost. It was Miss Frost who had "gone too far"; it was Miss Frost who'd "overstepped her bounds."
Moral outrage and righteous indignation aren't unique to small towns and backward schools, and Miss Frost was not without her champions. Though it caused him to suffer my mother's "silent treatment" for several weeks, Richard Abbott took up Miss Frost's cause. Richard argued that, when faced with an earnest young man's determined infatuation, Miss Frost had actually shielded the young man from the full array of sexual possibilities.
Grandpa Harry, though it caused him the unbridled scorn of Nana Victoria, also spoke up for Miss Frost. She'd shown admirable restraint and sensitivity, Harry had said--not to mention the fact that Miss Frost was a source of inspiration to the readers of First Sister.
Even Uncle Bob, risking more vigorous derision from my most indignant aunt Muriel, said that Big Al deserved a break. Martha Hadley, who continued to counsel me in the aftermath of my forcibly aborted relationship with Miss Frost, said that the transsexual librarian had been a boost to my chronically weak self-confidence. Miss Frost had even managed to help me overcome a pronunciation problem, which Mrs. Hadley claimed was caused by my psychological and sexual insecurity.
If anyone had ever listened to Tom Atkins, poor Tom might have had a good word to say for Miss Frost, but Atkins--as Miss Frost had understood--was jealous of the alluring librarian, and when she was persecuted, Tom Atkins was true to his timid nature and remained silent.
Tom did say to me, when he'd finished reading Giovanni's Room, that the James Baldwin novel had both moved and disturbed him, though I later learned that Atkins had developed a few more pronunciation problems as a result of his stimulating reading. (Not surprisingly, the stink word was chief among the culprits.) Perhaps it was counterproductive that the most outspoken of Miss Frost's defenders was a known eccentric who was foreign-born. The grim forester, that lunatic logger, the Norwegian dramaturge with a suicidal streak--none other than Nils Borkman--presented himself at a First Sister town meeting by declaring he was Miss Frost's "biggest fan." (It may have undermined Borkman's defense of Miss Frost that Nils had been known to beat up various sawmill men and loggers who'd made unkind comments about Grandpa Harry's onstage appearances as a woman--especially those offenders who'd objected to Harry kissing as a woman.) In Borkman's opinion, not only was Miss Frost an Ibsen woman--to Nils, this meant that Miss Frost was both the best and most complicated kind of woman imaginable--but the obsessed Norwegian went so far as to say that Miss Frost was more of a woman than any woman Nils had met in the state of Vermont. Quite possibly, the only woman who was not offended by Borkman's outrageous assertion had been Mrs. Borkman, because Nils had met his wife in Norway; she was not from the Green Mountain State.
Borkman's wife was little seen, and she'd been more rarely heard. Almost no one in First Sister could remember what Mrs. Borkman looked like, nor could anyone recall if she--like her husband, Nils--spoke with a Norwegian accent.
Yet the damage done by Nils was instantaneous. Hearts were hardened against Miss Frost; she encountered a more entrenched resistance because Nils Borkman had boasted that she was more of a woman than any woman he'd met in Vermont.
"Not good, Nils--not good, not good," Harry Marshall had muttered to his old friend at that First Sister town meeting, but the damage had been done.
A GOOD-HEARTED BULLY IS still a bully, but Nils Borkman was resented for other reasons. A former biathlete, Nils had introduced southern Vermont to his love of the biathlon--the curious sporting event that entails cross-country skiing and shooting. This was at a time before cross-country skiing had gained the popularity in the northeastern United States that the sport enjoys now. In Vermont, there already existed a few informed and determined zealots who were cross-country skiers in those days, but no one I knew skied with a loaded rifle on his (or her) back.
Nils had introduced his business partner, Harry Marshall, to hunting deer on cross-country skis. A kind of deer-hunting biathlon ensued; Nils and Harry silently skied down (and shot) a lot of deer. There was nothing illegal about it, although the local game warden--an unimaginative soul--had complained.
What the game warden should have complained about simply filled him with a complacent sullenness. His name was Chuck Beebe, and he ran a deer-checking station--a so-called biology station, where he compiled deer ages and measurements.
The first Saturday of deer season, the checking station was overrun with women, many of whom, if the weather was nice, were wearing open-toed shoes. The
women displayed other signs that they had not been deer-hunting, but there they were--lipstick and halter tops, and all--presenting Chuck Beebe with a stiffened deer, caked with congealed blood. The women had hunting licenses, and they'd been issued deer tags, but they had not, Chuck knew, shot these deer. Their husbands or fathers or brothers, or their boyfriends, had shot these deer on opening day, and those men were now out shooting more deer. (One deer tag, per licensed hunter, entitled you to shoot one deer.) "Where'd you shoot this here buck?" Chuck would ask one woman after another.
The women would say something like, "On the mountain." Or: "In the woods." Or: "In a field."
Grandpa Harry made Muriel and Mary do this--that is, claim that they had killed Harry's first two deer of the season. (Nana Victoria refused.) Uncle Bob had made my cousin Gerry do it--until Gerry was old enough to say she wouldn't. I had done it for Nils Borkman, on occasion--as had the elusive Mrs. Borkman.
Chuck Beebe had long accepted this perpetual fiction, but that Nils Borkman and Harry Marshall hunted deer on skis--well, that just struck the game warden as unfair.
Deer-hunting regulations were pretty primitive in Vermont--they still are. Shooting deer from a motorized vehicle is not permitted; almost anything else goes. There is a bow season, a rifle season, a black-powder season. "Why not a knife season?" Nils Borkman had asked, in an earlier, now-famous town meeting. "Why not a slingshot season? There are too many deers, right? We should kill more of them, yes?"
Nowadays, there are also too few hunters; their numbers decline each year. Over the years, deer-hunting regulations have attempted to address the deer-population problem, but the overpopulation has endured; nevertheless, there are townspeople in First Sister, Vermont, who remember Nils Borkman as a raving asshole for proposing a knife season and a slingshot season for "deers"--even though Nils was just kidding, of course.
I remember when you could shoot only buck, then buck and doe, then buck and just one doe--that is, if you had a special permit, and the buck couldn't be a spike-horn.
"How about we shoot out-of-staters, no limit?" Nils Borkman had once asked. (Limitless shooting of out-of-staters might have been a pretty popular proposal in Vermont, but Borkman was just kidding about the out-of-staters, too.) "Nils has a European sense of humor," Grandpa Harry had said, in defense of his old friend.
"European!" Nana Victoria had exclaimed with scorn--no, with more than scorn. My grandmother spoke of Borkman being European in a similar manner to how she might have expressed her disgust at Nils having dog shit on his shoes. But the way Nana Victoria said the European word was mild in comparison to how derisively she spat out the she word, the spittle foaming on her lips, whenever she spoke of Miss Frost.
You might say that, as a result of her not having actual sex with me, Miss Frost was banished from First Sister, Vermont; she would, like Elaine, be sent away "in stages," and the first stage of Miss Frost's removal from First Sister began with her being fired from the library.
After she'd lost her job, Miss Frost could not long afford to maintain her ailing mother in what had been their family home; the house would be sold, but this took a little time, and Miss Frost made the necessary arrangements to move her mom to that assisted-living facility Harry Marshall and Nils Borkman had built for the town.
It seems likely that Grandpa Harry and Nils probably gave Miss Frost a special deal, but it would not have been a deal of the magnitude of the one that Favorite River Academy made with Mrs. Kittredge--the deal that permitted Kittredge to stay in school and graduate, even though he had knocked up a faculty daughter who was underage. No one would offer Miss Frost a deal of that kind.
WHEN I HAPPENED UPON Aunt Muriel, she greeted me in her usual insincere fashion: "Oh, hi, Billy--how's everything? I hope all the normal pursuits of a young man your age are as gratifying to you as they should be!"