"Oh, no."
"Well, I finally humiliated myself by actually finding her ... she was with Ed Poines." "Oh, no."
"And when I saw you'd taken the car I got so worried about what you'd been drinking ..." "I was sober."
"Well, Derek Marshall had to drive me home and he wasn't." "I'm sorry."
"Well, nothing happened!" "I'm sorry.
"Sorry!" she screamed. "Where are you? I needed the car to take Carey to the dentist. I called the police."
"Oh, no."
"Well, I thought you might be in a ditch somewhere off the road." "The car's fine."
"The car!" she wailed. "Where are you? For God's sake
"I'm in Joliet, Illinois."
"I've had more than enough of your terrible humor. ..."
"We screwed up at Chicago or I'd be in Iowa." "Who's we?" "Just me." "You said we." "I'm sorry. ..."
"I just want to know if you're coming home tonight."
"It's unlikely I could get there," the driver said.
"Well, I've got Derek Marshall on my hands again, you can thank yourself for that. He took Carey to the dentist for me."
"Oh, no."
"He's been a perfect gentleman, of course, but I really had to ask him by. He's worried about you, too, you know."
"Like hell
"You're in no position to talk like that to me. When are you coming back?"
The thought of "coming back" had not occurred to the driver and he was slow to respond.
"I want to know where you are, really," his wife said.
"Joliet, Illinois."
She hung up.
The longer distances take teamwork. The driver had his work cut out for him, for sure.
Bobbing in the indoor pool, the driver was struck with a certain bilious sensation and the resemblance the pool bore to the turtle aquariums in the Holiday Inn lobby. I don't want to be here, he thought.
In the Grape Arbor Restaurant the driver pondered the dizzying menu, then ordered the chefs crab salad. It came. Lake Michigan should be suspected as a possible, ominous source.
In the Tahiti Bar he was served cognac.
The local Joliet TV station reported the highway fatalities of the day: a grim body count -- the vision of the carbon-covered carnage sending travelers away from the bar and to bed early, for a night of troubled sleep. Perhaps this was the purpose of the program.
Before he went to bed himself, the driver said goodnight to his Volvo. He felt its tires, he felt the black grit in the oil, he sought the degree of damage in a pockmark on the windshield.
"That one must have s