Then I was over her mouth and so close to her eyes I could count all her lashes; saw her squeeze water down over them, but not crying, really.
And I didn't have any inappropriate visions - only her face and her flooding hair. The hands over me were absolutely the hands of Gallen von St Leonhard; there were no distractions. No sound effects, either, except what I caug
ht of Gallen's breathing.
Her eyes closed; I nipped a tear off her cheek. She covered my ears in her fashion again. My head rang, but I knew precisely what caused it.
I had sneezed. This time she had too. Because her eyes opened very frightened. She said, 'Graff?' I thought: No, that wasn't anything wrong. That was perfectly proper. But she said, 'Graff, did you feel that? Did I hurt myself?'
'No, you just sneezed,' I said, making light. 'That's good,' I said, like a frotting doctor. But this time I heard her every word and breath, and I knew I hadn't traveled beyond the bag. I was sane: I knew Gallen and I were alone there together, and everyone or everything else was either dead or not with us. For that moment.
'It was something that fell out of me, though,' she said. 'Graff? It was, I think.'
'You simply sneezed,' I said. 'And nothing fell out that won't be back.'
I thought: A sense of humor is essential, Gallen. This is so important. Please smile now.
But Gallen said - still nervous, and I hadn't left her - 'Graff, do you think of other things when you do this? Do you ever?'
'How could I?' I said. And I didn't dare to take my eyes off her, or dare to close my eyes, either - because I knew that the woods around us were full of deer and oryxes and shepherds, just waiting to catch my mind. Frot them.
Gallen smiled; she even laughed a little, under me. 'I don't think of anything, either,' she said. 'I can't even get anything on my mind right now.'
Well, you're a very healthy girl, I thought. But you'd better watch out for me. Hannes Graff is known for his loose, straying ends.
Noah's Ark
LATER THAT AFTERNOON, Gallen said, 'Do you think it's come back yet? It still feels gone.'
'What does?' I said, and because she was talking, I dared to close my eyes.
'What I thought fell out of me,' said Gallen. 'You know.'
She was a little too glum about it, I thought.
'Look,' I said. 'Some girls never sneeze all their life. You're lucky.'
'Will I ever again?' she said. 'Is what I mean.'
'Of course you will,' I said.
'When?' said Gallen, more brightly - even playful. With her one wet bra still drying, she certainly tossed my soccer shirt around when she moved.
'Hannes Graff needs time to recover,' I said.
And that's true enough, I thought - my eyes still closed. I could move my head back and forth - into a spot where the sun hit my face and changed my darkness from black to red. Then back to black, with the frame of my darkness edged in red and white stripes, like the soccer shirt.
Keep talking to me, please, Gallen, I thought.
But she must have been imagining the degrees of my recovery - a silent wonder, I've often thought myself.
My eyes still closed, I moved my head, black to red, red to black - a simple trick, with lighting effects - but the core of my darkness was opening like the shutter-eye of a camera. It was really premeditated; I could have stopped it by just opening my eyes wide and talking fast to Gallen. But I compromised, to test myself. Eyes still shut, I said, 'About where we'll go. Have you given it any thought yourself?'
'Well, I've been thinking,' said Gallen.
But my shutter-eye opened wider now, on the frotting winter river - like a movie beginning, with no titles and no characters yet onstage. Please think out loud, Gallen, I thought. But she didn't say a word, or if she did, it was too late for me to hear her - for the speed of my traveling.
This river went everywhere; it passed every place in the world. But I was just a camera-eye, not in the picture. In spots, there were crowds on the banks, all with their suitcases. And there were animals too - on the ark, that is. I neglected to mention it: a rather poorly put-together raft. Someone ran a collection service; he wore an eagle-suit and was in charge of the ship - or he ran about, breaking up squabbles on board, thrusting an oar between cats and wombats, separating the bears and shrieking birds. People tried to swim out and board the ark. They tried to hold their suitcases above water; their children were sinking.