The Water-Method Man

Educational Placement Service Student Union Bldg.

University of Iowa

Iowa City, Iowa

Atten. Mrs Florence Marsh Dear Mrs Marsh:

Having paid my Service Fee to you some time ago, I expected that your services would be at least reasonable. Your current enclosure for 'Available Positions' does not strike me as reasonable in any way. I specified to you - in an endless form, filled out in triplicate - my capabilities, my field of interest, my degrees, and where (in what region of this country) I sought a teaching position.

In regard to your current information, I do not want to meet an interviewer from Carother's Community College of Carother's, Arkansas, 'offering a position at their Maple Bliss campus, for five sections of freshman rhetoric at $5,000 per annum.' Do you think I am utterly mad?

I told you: New England, Colorado or Northern California; at a college where I'd have some opportunity to teach more than freshman-level courses, for a salary of at least $6,500, plus moving expenses.

Some service you offer, I must say.

Dismally,

Fred Trumper

Fred Trumper

918 Iowa Ave.

Iowa City, Iowa

Oct. 3, 1969

Shive & Hupp

Loan Associates, Farm & Town US Route 69, West

Marengo, Iowa

Dear Mr Shive & Mr Hupp: Sirs, I repeat: I am unable at this time to make my interest-due payment to you. Please refrain from sending me further form letters about your famous Rising Rate Scale, and your awkwardly veiled threats of 'constables'.

Just do what you have to do. That's all I'm doing.

Truthfully,

Fred Trumper

* * *

Fred Trumper

918 Iowa Ave.

Iowa City, Iowa

Oct. 3, 1969

Addison & Halsey Collection Agency 456 Davenport St

Des Moines, Iowa

Atten. Mr Robert Addison Dear Bobby,

Cram it.