The Water-Method Man

Ralph screened some new shots of the latest developments; Bogus played with the sound.

(Medium shot; no sync sound; interior, day; general store. The Free Farmers are shopping, fanning out through the store aisles, picking up things and putting them back, as if these foodstuffs and hardware were rare gifts)

NARRATOR (Bogus, voice-over): The Free Farmers buy wheat germ, honey, brown rice, milk, oranges, apple wine, cigarette paper, corncob pipes, Camels, Marlboros, Winstons, Luckies, Salems ...

(Medium shot; sync sound; exterior day; general store. The Free Farmers mill around their psychedelic Volkswagen panel truck parked outside the store. The boy holding the grocery bag has long hair tied back in a ponytail; he wears a pair of farmer's overalls. He is pawing around in the bag, pulling things out)

BOY: Whose Salems? (He holds up the pack) Come on! Who got the Salems?

Then they view the scene with the president of the local college. The president is useful to the movie because he blatantly foreshadows what's going to happen.

(Medium shot, moving; no sync sound; exterior, day; college campus. We follow the college president across the parking lot, up a path through the campus mall. He is sharply dressed; he nods graciously to several passing students)

NARRATOR (Bogus voice-over): The president is forty-three, once-divorced, now remarried, B.S., M.S., Ph.D. in botany, Yale. He has four children of his own. He is chairman of the State Democratic Committee ...

(The president follows a group of students into a building; the students walk on in, but the president stops to wipe his feet)

NARRATOR (V.O.): He is opposed to having the police on campus; although he believes firmly in private property and has repeatedly asked the Free Farmers to leave, he will not call in the police ...

(Medium close-up; sync sound; interior, day; president's office. The president speaks directly into camera)

PRESIDENT: Why call in the police? The real farmers around here will take care of it ...

The bulk of the new footage has to do with the leader of the Free Farm, a character named Morris. One night a lot of real farmers come to the Free Farm and maul Morris. The police interview the nameless girlfriend of Morris, a witness to the mauling.

(Medium shot; sync sound; interior, night; police station. Morris's girl wears farm overalls over a great soft pair of breasts in an old T-shirt that we've previously seen Morris wearing. The girl is talking to a police sergeant in the station, and a police secretary is taking notes)

GIRL: ... then I couldn't tell what they were doing to Morris, 'cause one of them knocked me down - you know, talking dirty to me. And one of them reached under me - I was lying on my stomach - and he pinched me in the tit. (She lifts her breast to display the part pinched.) It's clear it's what they really want from us, of course. Just fucking! That's really all. They pretend they hate us, but they really want our asses, man. Oh sure, they hit me, knocked me down and all, but what they were really after was a cheap feel. You know, their wives with bras and girdles on all the time, and their hair in curlers - it's natural for them to go around wanting it all the time. But they just feel so threatened by us - at least they responded that way to Morris ...

POLICE SERGEANT: Exactly how did they respond to Morris?

GIRL: They just beat the shit out of him, man.

POLICE SERGEANT: Did Morris provoke them?

GIRL: Morris? You've got to be kidding! Morris asked them to turn on with him! Morris just doesn't know how to fucking provoke anybody ...

There follows a lot of dismal footage of the mauled, hospitalized Morris in traction. Finally, the rest of the Free Farmers have to get police protection because the real farmers raid them again and shotgun all the tomato plants. 'Police protection' entails the police removing all the Free Farmers from the Free Farm.

When Morris is released from the hospital, he goes around the village conducting a kind of autopsy on the deserted Free Farm. He asks all the town farmers whether they really would have shot anybody, or whether in time they might have grown to tolerate the Free Farm. This is all pointless, since there is no more Free Farm, but apparently it is important for Morris to get the answers.

(Medium shot - fade in, from dissolve; no sync sound, music over; exterior, day; village firehouse. Morris, on crutches, is with his girl. They are talking with the fire chief, but there is no sync sound. The music is Neil Young's 'After the Goldrush'. Although Morris is doing all the talking, the fire chief keeps looking at Morris's girl. Medium shot; no sync sound, music over; exterior, day; farmer's house. Morris and the girl are talking with one of the real farmers, possibly involved in the mauling. The girl holds up her breast, probably referring to the pinch. Morris is friendly; the farmer is cautious. Medium shot; no sync sound, music over; exterior, day; general store. Morris and his girl sit on the steps of the general store. They are drinking Pepsi; Morris talks enthusiastically, but the girl seems fed up with him. Another angle - to include the kids' psychedelic Volkswagen panel truck; sync sound, music fades. Morris and his girl, about to depart. They are getting into the truck. Morris talks directly into camera; his girl holds his crutches for him)

MORRIS: They wouldn't have shot us. Maybe they would've beaten us up again, but they absolutely would not have shot us. I feel we're much closer to them now; there's some communication happening. (He turns to his girl) You can just feel it, can't you?

GIRL: They would have blown your goddamn head off, Morris ...

The plan of the film is to close with the college president's comment.

(Medium shot, moving; sync sound; exterior, day; Parents' Day picnic. Through a formal picnic spread, past many neatly attired parents, all smiling, nodding hello, the president moves like a Pope bestowing blessings. He is eating fried chicken, and manages to do so in an unmessy way. The camera moves closer to him, coming in over his shoulder. He suddenly turns and faces camera. At first he is startled; then he turns on the charm, speaking seriously, as if renewing an old, tireless subject)

PRESIDENT: Do you know what really encourages me, even with such things going on all around us? Well, I'll tell you something about these kids ... and it's very encouraging, really. They live and learn, that's what they do. They really do ... and that's what encourages me. They just live and learn, like all kids, anywhere, anytime ...

Then Kent came in with the beer and cheese. He'd been cameraman for a lot of the new footage and was eager to see how he'd done.

'Did you show it already?' he asked.

'It stinks,' Ralph said. 'The whole thing. It's just awful.'