They all are.
Chapter Three
Grinder
This is what Rock and I talked about the club turning into so many years ago.
Family.
Not by blood.
By choice.
Bound by loyalty. Honor. Respect. Love. Brotherhood.
The ol’ ladies are damn fine women too.
In one way or another, they remind me of Rose. Especially Z’s girl, Lilly, with her long, dark hair and easy smile.
The clubhouse is full of noise. Brothers in a cheerful, upbeat mood.
Glad I could provide a reason to celebrate.
I choose a seat in the corner of the massive L-shaped couch taking up two walls in the back of the room. Here, I can watch the party without worrying about anyone sneaking up behind me.
Murphy drops down to my left, pulling Heidi into his lap. Wrath’s big frame dominates the space on my right.
Earlier, Sparky unfolded something he called a ‘Tibetan mattress’ in the center of the room. Looks like a thick, square hippie blanket to me. He has several glass bongs arranged in front of him, and he’s giving three barely dressed girls a class on different strains of pot, from what I can tell. Even though the guys assured me my parole officer wouldn’t cause trouble, I’m not sure how much second-hand pot smoke I want to inhale.
“Do you need anything else?” Trinity asks, setting her hand on my forearm.
Can’t help but admire her knack for being attentive without being annoying. “I’m good. Thanks, sweetheart.”
She joins Wrath, who immediately wraps his arm around her. Rock and his wife move in next to Wrath. Can’t make out their conversation—not that I’m trying to eavesdrop.
The unattached brothers around us loudly discuss which girls might visit the clubhouse this weekend.
I lean to my left and tap Murphy’s shoulder. “I don’t suppose there’s a sleeping bag around I can borrow?”
He frowns. “It’s like forty degrees and falling.”
Fuck, I wish I’d gotten out earlier in the year. My urge to be outside as much as possible won’t go away.
“We have an enclosed porch,” Trinity offers as if she knew exactly what was going through my head. “It has a wood stove.” She blushes. “We sleep out there sometimes. It’s like sleeping under the stars—without all the mosquitoes and the threat of bears.”
Rock leans forward and catches my eye. “We have a guest room. Grace mostly sleeps through the night these days,” he says, wobbling his hand from side to side.
“You’re welcome to it,” Hope adds.
Wrath nudges me with his elbow. “We have a guest room, too, if you don’t want to risk the Gracie alarm clock or the porch.”
“Grinder’s not a stuffed animal. No need to fight over him, kids,” Z snarks from his perch farther down the couch.
“Why you still here, Rock?” I lift my chin. “Hoping to watch me get laid?”
He shakes his head. “No, thanks. I can do without.”
“These parties already annoyed you when we went inside.”
“They still do.” He shrugs. “But it’s your first night home.”
Home. Maybe if everyone keeps saying it enough, it’ll start to feel like it.
Hope wraps her arms around him and rests her cheek against his chest. Something about her seems too pure or innocent to be hanging around here, but she doesn’t seem to notice anything but Rock. I like her. Loyal woman. Glad Rock finally found one.
A lifetime ago, I’d had one of my own. At least, I thought she’d be loyal. Hard to ask a good woman to sit through fifteen years of incarceration.
“Do you need anything, Grinder?” Hope asks.
The last fifteen years of my life back.
I cough into my elbow. “Water?”
“Sure.” She lifts her gaze to Rock and he shakes his head. Trinity follows Hope over to the bar.
“Sweet girls,” I say after they’re gone.
As if old ladies vacating the area was a signal, a girl who doesn’t look old enough to drive brushes up against my leg. Eh, I feel ancient around everyone in the room.
“Hi. Grinder, right?” she asks in a soft voice.
“Not now, darlin’,” I answer without giving her another look.
She handles the rejection well. Saunters away and cozies up to someone else.
Rock raises an eyebrow at me.
“If you laugh, I’ll fucking gut you,” I warn him.
He holds up his hands.
Not that I need to explain myself to anyone, but I say, “I need to see Rose first.”
“Brother.” He shakes his head. “I understand.”
“Do you?” I take in his rigid posture and the way his gaze keeps straying to the bar. “Yeah, you probably do.”
Wrath laughs. “It’s good to have you with us—where you belong..”
I don’t feel like I belong here—or anywhere—but I appreciate the sentiment. Especially coming from Wrath.
“Feels good to be free.” Now, I just need to figure out how to earn my place in a world I no longer recognize.
The girls return and Hope hands me a bottle of water.
“Thanks, sweetheart.” I uncap the bottle and take a long sip. Even cool water that doesn’t have a metallic tinge feels like a treat. I screw the cap back on and tuck the bottle next to my side. Not like anyone’s gonna steal it from me but it’s habit to guard my resources now.