I shouldn’t be letting the thought of seeing Rosie rattle me this much. There were days inside where I fought like an animal to stay alive. I’m no fuckin’ pansy. Gettin’ twisted up over a woman—any woman—isn’t worth disrespecting the brotherhood.
Inside the war room, it’s more crowded than yesterday. Great.
Steer grabs me first, shaking my hand. “Good to see ya, brother,” he says.
A lump forms in my throat. “How you been? Thank you for all the letters you sent. They always gave me something to look forward to.”
“Glad you’re back. Can’t wait for you to visit Downstate and see what we’ve built.”
“Give him time to settle in,” Wrath says.
I force a smile. “There’s plenty of me to go around, boys.”
Rooster approaches next. One corner of his mouth hitches up. “Grinder, we finally meet on this side.”
I pull him in for a quick hug and he slaps my back a few times. Whether he realizes it or not, the few visits he made to me meant something. Plus, there’s no baggage of pre-prison history between us. I step back, keeping my hands on his shoulders for a second. “Met your girl earlier. Got a beautiful voice.”
He ducks his head but smiles even wider. “Yeah, I’m real proud of her.”
“Shelby’s the bomb,” Hustler says, muscling into our conversation. “Rooster don’t wanna brag, but we spent the summer on tour with her. She’s a big deal—the next Taylor Swift.”
I stare at him.
Rooster chuckles. “She’d like to be the next Dolly Parton, for sure.”
Now that name I know.
Jigsaw joins us and shakes my hand. “Congratulations, brother.”
“All right.” Z’s voice rises above the noise in the room. “Find a seat.”
While he said it casually, it seems most of the guys have a usual spot. Wrath pats the seat next to him and again, I take it. At least today I’m slightly more comfortable with my back to the door.
Baby steps.
After church, Rock asks me to stay. Not really sure where he thinks I’d be running off to, or how I’d get there since I don’t have a vehicle.
Z, Wrath, Murphy, Teller, and Dex also remain, except Z joins us at our end of the table.
“Didn’t want to do this in front of everyone else,” Murphy says. “But Heidi asked around and got you the name of a physical therapist. They can see you tomorrow. Just need to bring whatever medical records you’ve got.”
I stare at him, then Rock.
“You’ll have to go as self-pay since you’re not on anyone’s insurance yet.” Rock reaches for a cabinet on his right and slides a drawer open, pulling out a thick envelope that I assume is full of cash.
“I’m not taking charity, Rock.” I cross my arms over my chest and fight off the burning humiliation. “You know me better than that.”
No one at the table moves or even breathes.
Rock sits back and glares at me.
“It’s not charity,” Teller says. “It’s club earnings you’re entitled to.”
“We all know I’ve barely been a member for years,” I argue. “Inside…it’s a whole different world.”
“A brother inside is still a brother,” Rock says. “You taught me that.”
“We take care of our own, Grinder,” Z adds.
I turn toward Z. “And the club took care of me. Always kept dollars in my account. Appreciate that. Made things easier for me more than you’ll ever know. But I’m a free man and need to earn my way.”
“Bro, you’ve been out for a day,” Wrath says.
“You think I can’t tell time, son?” I snap.
He clenches his jaw. “We want to help make the transition easier on you. That’s all.”
Why is this so hard to accept? The whole point of the club and the brotherhood was to take care of each other during hard times. But I guess I never saw myself on the receiving end of that help. “I need to work.”
“You will.” Rock laughs. “Trust me. We’ve got plenty for you to do.”
“Good. That’s all I ask.”
“But you’ll take this money now and get yourself sorted.” Rock’s expression turns cold and steely. That’s new to me. I’m sure it serves him well as president. “This isn’t a request.”
I swallow. Never figured it’d be so hard to tolerate Rock as my president, giving me orders. “Listen—”
He sits up and slaps the table. “If our roles were reversed, what would you do? Tell me.”
This little fucker.
“That’s what I thought.” He smirks and leans back. “You’d make sure I was taken care of whether I liked it or not. Stop making this harder.”
“Thank you.” I reach for the envelope and stuff it in my pocket. “Gotta be careful how I spend it or I’ll draw attention.”
“For now, just worry about the medical bills,” Dex suggests.
“I can set up some accounts for you,” Teller offers.
One corner of my mouth turns up. “You always were a genius with money.”
Teller shrugs and slides his gaze toward Rock. “I do okay.”