I groan, reaching to grab the condom. “Lift up, baby.” I kiss her cheek as I slide free.
She rolls to the side and stares up at the ceiling.
“I’ll be right back,” I promise.
Can I even walk straight?
I stumble into her bathroom and dispose of the condom.
When I return, she’s facing the door, lifted on one elbow. I scoop my arms under her and pull her close. Flushed cheeks, soft eyes, and wild hair. She’s so much more beautiful than I have any right to be with. I kiss her cheek, her eyelids, and her forehead.
Her hair tickles my arms as she rests against my chest. She twines her legs with mine. I take her hand, and she rubs her thumb over my knuckles. She sits and studies the scars on my hand. Proof of my struggles to survive.
“Got no business being with you, Serena. Too old and too worn down.”
She rubs her lips against my knuckles and peers up at me “It’s better to grow old—even if not gracefully—than the alternative, don’t you think?”
“What alternative?”
“Not growing old at all.”
My chest squeezes and warms at the same time. “You’re good for me. I’m not so sure I’m good for you.”
“Well, I’m a big girl. Why don’t you let me decide that for myself?”
Cupping her cheek, I pull her closer and answer with a kiss.
I never expected to feel this strongly about anyone.
Little by little, she’s owning my soul.
And there isn’t a damn thing I can do to stop it.
Chapter Twenty-One
Serena
I’ve never cuddled with someone this much. Grayson and I are like magnetic Velcro. Neither of us strays far from the other. While I’m in his arms, all the possible problems seem far away.
The lighting in my bedroom is low, so I reach over to tap the lamp on my nightstand.
“Fuck, that’s bright.” Gray squeezes his eyes shut while I stretch and press the button to dim the light.
“Better?”
He cups my breast, rubbing his thumb over my nipple. “Much. Goddamn, woman. You’re perfect in every light.”
Laughing, I push him back and sit up. “You’re not so bad yourself.” I tap right below the newly inked skeleton key on his chest. It’s a heavy, dark piece. “I like this a lot, by the way. That’s why I turned on the light. So I could study your new ink better.”
Instead of sharing some tidbit of information about the meaning behind the design, he sighs and absently rubs over the key. “I wanted to cover Rose’s name as soon as possible.”
Did he? Wait. “Is that why you didn’t want to…sleep with me for so long?”
He stares up at the ceiling for a few heartbeats. “Maybe.”
“You didn’t have to cover it for me.” That had to be expensive and painful. “I would’ve…understood.”
“It was time.” His voice turns distant.
An ugly thought snakes into my head. “Grayson?”
He’s busy studying my tits again, and I blow out an annoyed breath to regain his attention.
He lifts his eyes. “Have mercy on me. You’re gorgeous, and I haven’t had much beauty in my life, Serena.”
Now I feel even shittier for what I’m about to ask. “I’m not a way for you to get over your ex-wife, am I? A placeholder or substitute?”
His eyes widen in shock and he stares at me.
“No. Fuck no. Jesus.” He tugs on my hand. “Get over here.”
I shift closer but not close enough for his taste. He grabs my hips and lifts me, guiding me over his legs until I’m straddling his blanket-covered lap. Vulnerability scratches at me like steel wool. I’m not only nude, but I’ve exposed one of my biggest fears with that question.
He brushes my hair out of my face. “Is that how I make you feel?”
“No.” Cherished is how I feel with him but that’s too big to say out loud. “Were you disappointed that she wasn’t waiting for you?”
“Disappointed isn’t the right word. In the moment, I felt foolish. But now, I’m relieved.” He shrugs. “We hadn’t seen each other in fifteen years so I should’ve seen it coming.”
“She never came to visit you?”
“I didn’t want her to see me in there. Or get targeted by anyone inside. I did enough to ruin her life. I didn’t need people coming after her when I wasn’t there to protect her.”
“Then why did you…?”
“We wrote letters.” His mouth twists, and he glances away. “Hers were superficial and short.”
“And she never mentioned she had a husband and kid?” It seems a bit cliche to criticize his ex, but that’s so cold.
“No. Not even a hint.” He shrugs again. “Who the hell knows. Maybe she thought they’d be safer that way.”
A phone buzzes from somewhere on the floor. Mine’s still in the other room, so it must be Gray’s.
“Someone’s looking for you,” I whisper, crawling over him.
He groans. “Sorry.”
I locate his phone and hand it to him. “I’ll give you privacy.”