“All the time.” She tilts her head toward the kitchen. “Trinity’s in there with Swan.”
We won’t have much time alone then. Better ask my questions quickly. “How well do you know Serena?”
Hope’s serious eyes study me for a moment. Bet she heard all about what went down with Steer running his mouth.
“Not that well. I ran into her a few times Downstate. She used to hang out up here…sometimes.” She’s careful with each word, probably trying not to alert me to any other brothers Serena’s spent time with.
Instead of finding that annoying, I like that she’s discreet. Almost like she wants to protect Serena instead of toss her under the bus like a lot of ol’ ladies might do.
“She was always kind. A little shy.” Her mouth twists. “From what I could tell, Tawny was mean to her.”
I’m guessing there’s no love lost between Hope and Tawny.
I knew Hope was a smart gal.
My lip curls. “Besides Tawny, you think the other old ladies will accept her?”
Hope raises an eyebrow. “I don’t see why not. Lilly likes her a lot. She was upset when Serena…stopped hanging out Downstate.”
“I don’t mean that I need their approval. I just don’t want…”
“Anyone putting her down?” Hope finishes for me.
“Yes.” My jaw clenches. “I won’t have it. Don’t give a shit what happened or who she was with before we met. I won’t tolerate anyone disrespecting her.”
She reaches over and squeezes my forearm. “I think, and this is ancient history, Heidi was a little prickly because…well, you don’t need me to explain it. But she’s grown up a lot. I’m pretty sure she’s over it by now.”
I snort. Poor Heidi. Can’t imagine the shit she was exposed to while I was inside.
“You think I’m a disgusting old pervert, trying to settle down with the first young thing I see?” I blurt.
She sits back and blinks. Can’t blame her. Not many men would ask that question or care about her answer.
“I don’t think that at all,” she finally says. “I’ve always had the impression Serena hasn’t had an easy life. That can certainly age a person beyond their years.”
I let out a grunt.
“You seem to be asking for my advice?” she ventures.
I lift one shoulder. Is that what I’m doing? I don’t need her approval, but I’m interested in her opinion.
“The age difference isn’t what I’d be concerned about the most.” Now that she has my attention, Hope steamrolls ahead. “I’d be cautious because you’re going through a big shift in your own life. Readjusting to things.” She stops and clears her throat. “On the outside.”
“Don’t use her to get myself adjusted and then discard her? Is that what you’re trying to say?”
“Not exactly.”
“I went to visit my…ex.” The word rolls off my tongue unnaturally. “Stupid of me.” I clench my fists in my lap and stare at them for a few seconds. “I really thought…maybe…then this girl…this teenager…opened the door and I had a brief, stupid burst of hope that she was my kid. Didn’t even care if it meant Rosie hid my kid all these years…” I realize I’m not making sense and don’t even understand why I’m blathering all this nonsense to a woman I barely know.
“And?” Hope prompts in a soft tone.
“The girl wasn’t mine.” I glance down at little Grace. “Rosie found someone else a long, long time ago.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Nah.” I tap my chest. “I probably knew all along but didn’t want to admit it to myself.”
“You needed something to hold on to so you could survive.”
Damn, for such a soft, clean woman, she sure seems to understand the darkest thoughts.
“Exactly.” I glance over my shoulder quickly. “I know most people would think it’s crazy to settle down with the first woman who gives me the time of day—”
“Grinder, that’s not true.” Her lips curl into a teasing smile. “I saw the girls all over you at your welcome home parties.”
Slightly embarrassed, I dip my chin. “That was only out of obligation to the club or wannabe pity fucks.”
She snorts out a laugh. Good to know she doesn’t offend easily.
Her laughter cuts off abruptly. “Wait, you said settling down? Are you already thinking about that?”
I dip my chin and flash a sheepish smile. “Yeah. This is just between us, right?”
She raises her right hand. “Lawyer oath. I won’t tell a soul.”
Grace giggles and reaches up to slap at her mom’s open palm.
“How about you, Grace?” I ask.
She whips her head around and beams at me. I press my finger to my lips. “This is a secret between the three of us, okay?”
Grace bobs her head up and down.
With that settled, I return to Hope’s original question. “I want to get my situation straight first, but yeah, we have something good. I don’t need to go fuck around to figure out I wanna be with her.”