Humiliation burns my anger to dust. I can’t believe I had to share this story with the man I love in front of three of his club brothers.
I’m not even sad about the loss anymore, so why won’t the tears stop flowing?
I quickly brush the back of my hand over my damp cheeks.
Even though I wished for his death many, many times, knowing that Shadow’s gone doesn’t provide the peace I thought it would.
Chapter Forty
Grinder
I stroke my knuckles over Serena’s cheek until she collects herself and finally peers up at me. “Will you wait in the living room for me, buttercup?”
“Yup.” She jumps up like her ass is on fire, refusing to look at anyone.
The door closes with a click behind her.
Z pulls out his phone and taps out an angry text. His rage is an almost tangible storm cloud.
It’s no match for mine.
The fury I’ve been holding back erupts all over the three brothers I trusted to fix the club when I went inside fifteen long years ago.
“What the fuck?” I swing my accusatory glare around the room. Wrath—furious. Rock—seething. Z—about to go nuclear.
“Jesus Christ,” Rock mutters. “What the fuck was Sway doing down there?”
“We know what he was doing,” Wrath growls. “Nothing.”
“Where is this Shadow fucker, Z?” I step dangerously close, bumping his chest. “And don’t be cute, this time. Spell it out for me.”
“Easy, Grinder,” Wrath says.
“Don’t fucking tell me to go easy.” I point to the door. “You heard what she said, right? What he did to her. How the fuck did someone like that ever wear our colors?”
“I heard,” Wrath says quietly.
“You patched-in a brother who would do that to a friend of the club and no one had a fucking clue?” I rage. “Are you fucking serious?”
“He’s six feet under, Grinder,” Z says. “I slit his throat myself.”
I squeeze my eyes shut and blow out a long slow breath. “Did he suffer?”
“Whole club went at him before I finally ended it.”
“Someone else had to know,” I insist.
Z flicks a look at Rock. “We didn’t make the decision to take him out lightly, Grinder. It was a club vote.”
“He fucking stabbed you. What else did you need?”
“He attacked Lilly too. That’s why he stabbed me. He was desperate. It was a precarious time.” Z glances at Rock and Wrath who both nod. “Priest installed me there without their approval. Shadow was VP. It was…awkward. Shadow betrayed the club in a lot of ways. But almost everyone supported me when I stopped him from going after Serena.”
“What do you mean almost everyone? Who didn’t?”
“Jesus Christ, Grinder. You know how some of these guys are.”
“Who?”
“Smoke—he’s an older brother. He said he was taking off for Florida after the Shadow incident.” Z glances at Rock again. “Rooster ran into him out in Washington, though.”
Smoke’s a common road name. Could be one of a dozen bikers from back in the day.
“Who else had a problem?”
“Tiny, he’s a younger brother. He moved down to Mississippi last I heard.”
I grunt, not convinced all the bad apples have been eliminated. But I’m finally starting to get a clearer picture of why the New York club split into two different charters after Rock took over here.
“I honestly don’t think anyone knew it was that bad between them,” Z says. “Sway’s an asshole, and we had different opinions about a lot of things. But I don’t think even he would’ve been okay with that.”
Someone knocks on the door and it opens.
“You rang?” The grin on Rooster’s face freezes, then fades as he scans our faces. “What’s going on?”
“Jiggy out there?” Z asks.
“Yeah.” Rooster sticks his head out the door. “Hey, chucklefuck, you’re wanted in here too.”
“I’ll chucklefuck you, motherclucker,” Jiggy responds. Like Rooster, he drops the carefree attitude when he sees us. “Fuck, what’s going on?”
“Close the door.” Rock motions them inside.
Rooster seems to perform a mental head count. “Want me to grab Steer and Murphy?”
“They’re not back yet,” Wrath says.
“What did Myra tell you about Shadow?” Z asks Jigsaw.
He blinks and runs his gaze over us again. “Why you asking about Myra now?”
“Just answer the question,” I snap.
Jigsaw’s eyes widen and his mouth puckers into a smirk. “Alllrighty then.” He turns toward Z again. “He was a piece of shit. Cheated on her. Not just with club girls, apparently.”
“What else?” Z asks.
Jigsaw turns his head toward Rooster and the two of them have some sort of silent exchange that ends with a subtle shrug from Rooster.
“He was violent,” Jigsaw said. “She showed me pictures.” He swallows hard and glances down at his hands. “It was bad. Real bad. But she said the cops wouldn’t help her.”
“They didn’t want to go after our VP?” Z asks. He glances at Rock. “Think they would’ve run with that information. Used it for leverage of some sort.”
Rock shrugs. “Go on.”