Pause (Larsen Bros)

“Maybe.”

“You can do better than that,” I urge.

He gives himself a little shake. “Ugh. Okay. I guess you’re right.”

“I know I am. And it doesn’t happen very often, so I really need to seize the moments when it does. Now go make me coffee.”

“On it!”

I hope he’s okay. He seems okay. People can do a hell of a lot of damage, intentional or otherwise. And the trauma Leif has been through is extreme. Speaking of which, this morning’s domestic scene warms my wounded heart through and through. Though divorce hasn’t left me as jaded and bitter as I’d expected. I actually feel okay about life and love. Hopeful, even. How could I not after spending the night dancing and drinking followed by waking up next to the object of my affections? So getting over my crush on Leif has been on my to-do list for a while now. Oh well.

Two Advil and a long hot shower fixes the bulk of my issues. My face is a smudged mess from sleeping in my makeup and I have a small zit on my chin. I really should know better. However, the divorce party was a great success. Everything is good. Right up until I walk out to find Leif hugging another woman in the kitchen.

Holy shit.

A beautiful woman with russet skin and long dark hair. She’s like a piece of art with her heavy silver jewelry and red sheath dress. In my old jeans and a tee with my wet hair pulled back in a braid, I do not compare. And that’s not just any old hug they’re sharing. This isn’t some brief pat on the back and you’re good to go. They’re so comfortable with each other’s bodies. Because they’re all but clinging to each other like the oldest and closest of friends or quite possibly a good deal more. It’s a soul hug and I am left out in the cold. Here I thought it was me in particular who he liked hugging. But apparently the man is an equal opportunity hugger. Any girl will do.

I could swear someone just kicked me in the stomach.

Leif must sense me standing there staring because he opens his eyes and takes a small step back from the woman with an off-kilter kind of smile on his face. This is weird. I’m making this weird. Whatever expression is on my face right now needs to go. He was never mine and I have no right. I’m just surprised, is all. Really fucking surprised and kind of heartbroken.

“Anna,” he says. “Hey, ah, this is Roshuane. An old friend of mine. Roshuane, this is my roommate, Anna.”

And that’s all we are. Roommates. Foolish of me not to get that through my thick skull by now.

The beautiful woman smiles and oh my God. I’m half in love with her myself. With jealousy slowly draining me of my will to live, I raise my hand in greeting. “Hi.”

“Lovely to meet you, Anna,” she says, her voice brimming with warmth. Because she has to be nice as well, doesn’t she?

“Roshuane just got back in town,” says Leif.

“We’ve got a lot to catch up on.” And at this, she gives him a look that cannot be mistaken for anything but blatant carnal interest. Not that I blame her in the least. I harbor many of the same feelings for the man, after all.

Leif looks between his guest and me. The expression on his face seems to be on the verge of a smile, but again he’s not quite sure if he should. He’s allowed to be happy to see his friend and have sex with her if he so chooses. I’m just his roommate, after all.

“I’m heading out,” I say, grabbing my purse off the side table. “I’ll leave you guys to it. Nice to meet you, Roshuane.”

“Anna . . .” Leif begins, but doesn’t seem to know what to say for a minute. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I’m great,” I lie with a smile. “See you later.”

And I’m gone.

“Oh, yeah. They used to fuck like bunnies,” confirms Clem. “We actually had to bang on the wall one night they were getting so loud.”

Tessa squeezes her eyelids shut for a second. “Try some tact, yeah?”

I drain my cup of coffee. There’s not enough caffeine in all of the world to get me through today. I’m just a big ball of hurt feelings. Along with a healthy dash of foolishness, of course.

The plan was to hide out for a few hours somewhere nearby. Call Briar and whine a while. Possibly retreat to the fallback position of my parents’ house if necessary. But then I walked into a local café and Tessa, her partner Nevin, and their baby were there finishing brunch. After one look at my face, Tessa took me in hand. Apparently my fake smile sucks. Clementine was then summoned by text, and now here we are ensconced at a local bar. Just us girls.