“What?” asks Clem.
Tessa jerks her chin in my direction. “Anna has feelings for him. It’s why I told you to get your ass down here.”
I say nothing. Nothing needs to be said.
“You do? Shit,” mutters Clem. “Sorry. It’s funny. I wondered if there was something going on. But then you and he seemed to be all platonic and roommate-y, so I figured I was wrong.”
“Platonic and roommate-y would have been the sensible option,” I say, voice glum.
Tessa snorts. “Whoever said the heart was sensible?”
“That’s true,” says Clem. “Ed disliked me with much intensity, and with good reason, but I still stuck to the man like a tick. Couldn’t help myself. I say hang in there, Anna. You’re the only woman I’ve seen Leif spend quality time with since the accident. That has to mean something.”
“No.” I shake my head. “Well, yes, but it means we’re friends. That’s all. And I need to make peace with that because there’s nothing wrong with being friends. I just have a bad habit of growing feelings for this guy and . . . gah.”
“Do you know for sure Leif’s not interested?” asks Tessa.
“Besides his sex friend showing up?” I ask.
“Besides that.”
“Yes,” I say. Because it’s the truth. When I tried to kiss him he let me down as gently as possible. But it was still a rejection.
She frowns. “Damn.”
“Never mind.” I square my shoulders. “I have a part-time job that I enjoy. A nice condo that I share with a good friend. Lots of love and support. Life is good.”
“Oh, by the way,” says Tessa. “The accountant asked Ed to say thank you for getting the files up to date. Ed might forget, so this is me filling in on that front. We all hate doing admin work, so you’re a godsend.”
“Good. I’m glad.”
“And we like you as a person,” adds Clem.
“That’s true,” says Tessa with nil hesitation. “And we don’t actually like many people.”
Clem nods. “That’s true. We’re picky when it comes to people.”
Oh my heart. I am being embraced by a new sisterhood and it’s beautiful. “Thank you. I like you guys too. I really do.”
“Goodness sake, don’t cry.” Tessa passes me a napkin. “We didn’t tell you that to upset you.”
“I know,” I say. “I just . . .”
“You’ve been through a lot,” finishes Clem for me.
“After that woman turning up at work the other day, I’m not really surprised you’re a bit emotional.” Tessa tosses her hair. I wish I were that cool. “But it’s okay, Anna. Things are going to get better for you.”
“I believe that,” I say. “I do.”
“Good.”
“You’ve come a long way,” says Clem with a gentle smile. She’s been there too. Having to rebuild her existence from the ground up.
“I’m happy with how things are going.” And it’s the truth. “Thank you for hanging out with me today and getting me over my idiocy.”
“I’m still not completely convinced it’s idiocy,” says Clem.
“No. It is. I’m too old for this unrequited bullshit. I should know better.”
“You’re single and human.” Clem picks up a French fry and waves it about with much meaning. “You’re still breathing. Why shouldn’t you have many and varied hopes and dreams?”
“Hmm.”
“You mean because of the divorce?” asks Tessa.
I nod. “There should be a compulsory waiting period before you can get all attached and lusty after a major breakup. A deep cleansing period. Like an enema for the emotions.”
Clem laughs. “That doesn’t sound extreme at all.”
“I repeat, the heart is not sensible,” says Tessa.
“But maybe you can train it to be.” I ponder the thought. “I have a plan. I’m going to avoid him for a few days until I’ve got myself back under control, then carry on as if this never happened.”
Tessa just stares. “That’s your plan, huh?”
“Yep.”
“Does denial and avoidance really work, though?” asks Clem.
“Not even a little.” Tessa steals a fry. “But best of luck to you, girl.”
I smile. “Thank you.”
It’s around midnight when I sneak into the condo. Mom and Dad were surprised but happy to see me. Dad even managed to make conversation with me regarding subjects other than the sad demise of my marriage to his best buddy Ryan. And thank God for that. I also spent quality time talking to Briar and dissecting her new relationship with a hot dude who tends bar at her favorite club. All in all, a highly successful day out and about. A day that largely did not involve Leif. Go, me.
The condo is in darkness, everything quiet. I don’t turn on a light and I don’t make a sound. Mostly. Leif and his lady friend are probably in bed. Or maybe they’re out partying. Living their best lives. Who knows? Not me. Either way, I’m getting to bed without any more weird confrontations. And anyway, it doesn’t even matter. That’s the truth of things. I have made peace with my situation. We’re friends and that’s all. My confused heart can just stop making bad choices. I am moving on with my life.