Pause (Larsen Bros)

The man freezes.

“Okay?”

“Are you in serious shock or anything?” he asks carefully.

“No.”

“You sure about that?”

“I can admit when I’m wrong,” I say, somewhat churlishly. Just because.

“Yeah, it was more the other thing you said.” He rubs a hand up and down my spine with brisk, sure movements. “The second thing.”

“Oh, that.” I sigh. “Well, when your life flashes before your eyes for probably the second time in a year, it clears away a lot of the bullshit and debris.”

“That makes sense.”

“I was neither looking to fall in love with someone right now nor particularly wanting to, but here we are and I’m done lying about it. To myself and to you.”

“You know I was going to tell you last night?” he asks, pulling back to show me the sly smile on his gorgeous face. “That’s why you freaked out and started babbling about dinner, right?”

“Maybe. All right, yes. I just wasn’t quite ready to hear it.”

“I had it all worked out and everything. You would’ve been the first woman I’ve said it to in about a decade.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” he says. “I wasn’t angry with you, exactly. A bit frustrated, perhaps. I get why you’d want to take your time and it’s perfectly understandable. Just needed to get my thoughts in order and shit. Then the meds and the general excitement of the day and all kicked in and I fell asleep. With all of the fucking we’ve been doing lately I may have needed it. You’re very demanding.”

“That’s a very valid reason. But I hated sleeping apart from you. My brain may have been spinning wildly out of control without you.”

“Let’s not do it again, then.” He smiles again. “I do love you, you know?”

“I know.” And I’m smiling too. In fact, I’m grinning like a lovesick fool.

“Good.”

“Saying I love you and getting into fights.” I make a humming noise. “I think I’m a bad influence on you.”

“Not even a little.”

He presses his lips against mine, soft and sweet. It’s a kiss so perfect it scatters the memories of any that came before. And if this is the man I get to kiss for the rest of my life, hot and heavy or soft and sweet, I’ll be very happy indeed.

EPILOGUE

“I’m not sure about this,” I say, swishing the skirt on my blue evening gown. Without a doubt, I am in full-blown princess mode.

“It’s definitely not the sort of thing you should rush into.” Clem’s mouth flatlines in concern. “We can just pack all of this up . . .”

“Huh?”

“You know, give you more time to think it through.”

Tessa nods. “She has a point. Big life decision happening here.”

“Oh, no,” I say, lifting the bodice on the strapless gown just a little. Nobody wants any nipples making an appearance at inopportune moments. Or at least, not too early in the evening. “I was talking about wearing this over-the-top dress as opposed to say jeans or something. Not about the other thing. We’re full steam ahead on that front.”

They exchange relieved glances. And fair enough too. We’ve only spent the last hour decorating the condo with candles and rose petals. It looks like St. Valentine exploded in here. Add the champagne chilling in the ice bucket and the mood music playing over the speakers and we are good to go.

“Mostly I was just wondering if a more relaxed feel with the wardrobe would be better,” I explain. “Guess I’m just nervous. About everything. What if he doesn’t like it?”

“He’s going to love it. Now kick off your heels,” says Briar over FaceTime. She couldn’t get away from New York due to work, but wanted to participate in the moment.

I do as told, stopping to stretch my toes afterward. It’s grounding, having the cool polished wooden floorboards beneath my feet. Suddenly it feels like I can breathe again. “Oh yeah. That’s better. Good call.”

Briar raises her glass of wine to me. “You’ve never really enjoyed wearing heels.”

“Does anyone?”

Tessa shrugs. “Eh. Depends on the occasion. Just don’t ask me to run in them.”

And then it happens. Keys rattle in the door and Leif walks in, eyes going wide as the romance of the room smacks him upside the head. His cheeks are pink from the ice-cold wind undoubtedly blowing outside. There’s a good reason I’ve got the heat cranked up to make wearing this somewhat scanty dream of a dress okay.

Clem’s brows jump. “You’re early! He’s home early!”

“We’re out of here.” Tessa grabs her hand and they head for the door, squeezing past my boyfriend to get gone, closing the door behind them with a “Good luck!”

“You’ve got this,” says Briar. “Don’t let your anxiety get the better of you. Enjoy the moment and do your thing.”

“Thank you,” I say.

Briar gives me a saucy wink and hangs up.

“What’s going on?” Leif tosses his leather jacket over the back of a chair, giving me a good look-over in the process. It’s crazy, how the sight of him still makes me swoon. How butterflies go wild in my belly when he gives me that certain look. “Did I forget an anniversary or something? Why are you dressed so fancy, baby?”