Kissing the Cowboy (Circle B Ranch 5)

A text pops up, and for a second, I get my hopes up.

Hadleigh: Going to the B&B with the twins to grab some food. Wanna join us?

I check the time and realize it’s just after four, which means the dinner rush will be there.

Harper: I’m gonna pass. I have a lot more to do.

Hadleigh: Working so much isn’t healthy, and you still need to eat! Plus Maize made beef tips.

It’s tempting, but I haven’t had an appetite since I got home and have used catching up on packaging as an excuse to be alone. Not that it’s a lie, but I’m still trying to process it all.

Harper: Tell that to my customers who are pissed about not getting their goat soaps!

Hadleigh sends me a goat emoji, and I laugh. It feels good. Foreign almost.

Hadleigh: Okay then, your loss! I’ll just eat two plates for you.

Harper: Sounds good. Let me know if you see Ethan there.

Hadleigh: Will do.

I go back to my small desk and finish gathering the order I was on. My mind wanders. Ethan’s treated me so well over the years, has had my back, and has been there for me. We’ve spent countless birthdays, holidays, and random nights together hanging out and watching movies.

Ethan’s my other half, and right now, this hurts. Somehow, we’ll get past this, and in the end, hopefully our friendship will be stronger for it.

At least I hope.

Right now, working through the awkwardness and trying to get back to normal is all I can do, but I’m not giving up on us.

Chapter Fifteen

ETHAN

It’s been a week since I woke up next to Harper after the most amazing night of my life. A night that quickly turned wrong the morning after.

She pleaded to still be friends, that nothing would change, and because I didn’t want to lose her, I agreed. Though I was dying inside and wanted to ask how she thought that was going to be possible. How was I supposed to forget how it felt to be inside her? How my world turned upside down when she came on my dick? Kissing her felt real and passionate, yet I’m supposed to go back to just being friends?

Not. Possible.

Either she panicked because she regretted it or she panicked because the feelings aren’t mutual.

Honestly, I’m not sure which is worse.

We don’t talk like we used to, and anytime we do, it’s awkward and stilted. Though I want us to get back to where we were, my heart pounds every time I see her. I want to pull her into my arms and slide my lips across hers. I want to feel her warmth and hear her whisper my name as I get her off. And most of all, I want us back. Our traditions and fun banter. I miss our movie nights and the way she quoted dialogue from our favorites. I fucking miss my best friend.

But I don’t know how to get over this awkwardness.

Memories of us haunt me, and I have to jerk off in the shower just to relieve the ache she left. I wish I could ask her why she blew me off so fast, but then I’d have to admit how it nearly destroyed me. If what I feel is one-sided, I’ll deal with it—hell, it’s what I’ve been doing most of my adult life—but losing her friendship would be devastating.

Though it’s Sunday and I’m usually off, I decide to go to the goat barn and check in with my employees. Since Grandpa and I had the discussion a month ago about adding more billy goats, we’ve hired three more ranch hands. It’s been nice since Knox and Kane were being pulled away to help their parents more, and it also means I don’t get stuck working fifteen-hour shifts. Now that it’s the first week of October, it’s smack dab in the middle of breeding season. We’ve already rented out a dozen billy goats but kept two to mate with our females.

“Hey,” I greet Payton. “How’s it goin’?”

“Not too bad. Got milkin’ and feedin’ done. Just cleaning up now and about to put DingDong in the pasture,” he tells me.

I smirk at the name Kane came up with for one of the billy goats. After Knox made a comment about him being a devil with a huge dick, Kane suggested it, and well, it’s been quite fitting.

“Y’all have been hustlin’. Nice work.”

Just as I’m walking toward my office, I see Harper’s car pull up. I wait and watch as she grabs a large cooler, then stumbles when she sees me.

“Hey,” she says.

“Hey. What are you doin’ here?” I cross my arms.

“Just grabbing my restock of milk. Since the demand is so high, I need to get more soap poured. Hadleigh is bringing Ivy this afternoon to come help. She’s young, so she’s cheap labor.”