Kissing the Cowboy (Circle B Ranch 5)

“I mean, if that’s your style,” she mutters as she licks the salt off the rim of her glass. “Anyway, what else? His family adores you, so that’s a non-issue. You literally know everything about him…that could be a con, nothing left to really learn about each other unless it involves handcuffs and a blindfold.” She waggles her brow, and I blush at the idea.

“My heart,” I state. “I don’t know how I’d survive if things didn’t work out. Then let’s say, somehow, we remain friends afterward. How would I watch him be with someone else?”

“You won’t. You’ll do the classic, ‘I’m moving away to pursue a career I never mentioned before, but in reality, it’s because I can’t stomach seeing the love of my life with another woman.’” She mocks my tone.

“For starters, I don’t sound like that.”

“But you know I’m right. It’s classic Hallmark. Girl gets dumped and suddenly has to fly home for Christmas because her aunt broke her leg, and that’s when she meets a new Romeo.”

I scowl at the imagery.

“See? You wouldn’t want to be with another man. You want Ethan. Just like you don’t want to see him with another woman.”

“But what if—”

“What if it does work out?” she counters before I can continue. “What if y’all are meant to be together this whole damn time, and you live happily ever after? Isn’t that worth the risk?” she challenges, holding up her empty glass. “Shit, I need more. Hope you don’t mind me crashing on your couch…” she calls out as she walks to the kitchen for a refill.

I chuckle. “I never do.”

“Okay, listen…” She returns, plopping next to me. “Lay out your feelings. Your true feelings. No more BS. No more hiding. If you can stop being stubborn and admit what you really feel, you’ll come to terms with what you need to do.”

“I don’t know…” I hesitate, chewing on my lower lip that’s nearly gone raw from how much of a mess I’ve been.

“Look, Harper. You either lose him now or you lose him later when he moves on and finds someone else. You think a woman is gonna be okay with her man hanging out with you? No fuckin’ way. They’ll get serious, which turns into a proposal, then a wedding. And you know what comes after that?”

“Death,” I deadpan. “If I’m lucky.”

“Babies,” she corrects. “You wanna see another woman having Ethan’s babies?”

“Oh my God. I’m not thinkin’ about kids right now.”

“Why not? You’re not gettin’ any younger,” she mocks. “Kidding. Though I’m not about what will happen if you let him go because of your fears. Put that shit to the side and realize what kind of future you have to gain with Ethan.”

She’s right—I know she is—and if I don’t do something about it, I’ll lose one of the most important people to me.

“I do have feelings for him,” I softly admit. “I have for a long time. Giving in to those desires was amazing but also scary. I thought that if I gave him an out and said that it was a drunken mistake, I’d avoid the heartache from having to hear how he regretted it.”

She tilts her head and nods. “But instead, you broke his heart.”

“And I hate myself for that.”

“You need to tell him, Harper. Put the man out of his misery. Be happy! Be happy with someone who loves you as much as you love him. Trust me when I say it sucks when it‘s one-sided.”

Hadleigh’s face drops, and it takes me a second to realize what she’s implying.

“Is there something you’re not tellin’ me? Something about unrequited love?” I eye her suspiciously.

“That’s a story for another day. Tonight’s all about you and helping you figure out how to get your man.”

I giggle, sipping my margarita and appreciating her company. Talking about it has helped a ton, but I’m still conflicted. As much as I want to run to Ethan right now, I need a plan. He’s not going to easily forgive me. Knowing him, he’ll make me grovel, even if it’s for his own amusement. Though, if it means we’re happy, I’m willing to do whatever it takes.

Chapter Seventeen

ETHAN

It’s been a week since I’ve seen or talked to Harper.

One of the worst weeks of my life.

When I said she had to choose, I hadn’t expected her to answer the way she did. Perhaps I shouldn’t have asked it if I wasn’t ready, but I can’t take it back now. She’d rather stay friends than admit she has feelings for me. I put myself out there, and now I’ve lost her.

Though kissing her one final time was partly selfish because I wanted to taste her again, I had hoped she’d come to her senses. Having that be our last kiss makes it that much more painful. I’ve known Harper all her life and know when she’s lying—especially to herself. I was immediately hurt when she took the easy way out, and it was then I realized I had royally fucked up our friendship. Now, I can’t even face her.