Falling Away (Fall Away #3)

She continued. “And if Jax is anything like his brother, then I’m sure he’s no gentleman in the bedroom.”

I bit my lip, trying not to laugh and look as though I was losing my mind. I was mortified, delirious, and happy all at the same time, and I probably looked as if I’d been attacked by an animal. But definitely not by a gentleman.

Shelburne Falls wasn’t actually in Shelburne Falls. The town was named after the three roaring rapids that all merged into a single river that fed our small city. Even though the actual falls were a good distance away, no town was closer than ours.

After about forty-five minutes of plain highway driving with a barely noticeable incline, the lush green grasslands of the Midwest gave way to denser forest and narrower roads. All leading up to Blackhawk Lake—also known as Party Cove—and the three Shelburne waterfalls.

I’d rarely ever been up there. My mother wasn’t an outdoor person, and by the time I was old enough to fish or hike, my father was in and out of hospitals. The only times I’d ventured here were once with Tate and her dad, and another time for a party.

Madoc led the way in his silver GTO, Jared and Tate followed in Jared’s Boss, and Jax and I trailed in his Mustang. I’d texted Shane, telling her I’d be back in a few days and would see her before she left for college, but I didn’t bother letting my mother know anything. She hadn’t even attempted contact.

Jax tapped his fingers on the steering wheel to Starset’s “My Demons” while I attempted journaling through his The Fast and the Furious driving.

“What do you write in there?” He peered over at me, shoving his thick biceps in my face as he tried to snatch the notebook.

“Stop.” I laughed, twisting away. “It’s nothing about you. I promise.”

“It better be about me,” he teased, feigning insult and going back to driving.

I smirked. “I can’t put you into words. It’s impossible.”

When he didn’t say anything, I looked up to see him smiling to himself.

Yeah. There was no way to put him into words yet. Every time I thought of him, all I wanted to shout was “I love you!” Every time I opened my mouth to speak to him, all I wanted to say was “I love you!”

So not very coherent at this point. What the hell is love anyway? Did I love him already? Should I love him already?

Or was it just attraction? I mean, he looked like a demigod. I wanted to touch him and crawl on top of him at every opportunity. His smell, his personality, his body, everything intoxicated me.

But that wasn’t love. I was smart enough to know that. So why did I always want to say it?

“Thanks for the watch.” I spoke up, trying to get my mind off the subject of love. I looked down, rubbing my thumb over the white Samsung Gear fitted to my wrist. He’d picked it up while he and Jared were out getting supplies, but it wasn’t just a watch. It was a phone, a camera, and a pedometer, and I could do almost anything with it that I could do with my phone.

“You haven’t GPS’d me, have you?” I teased.

“Maybe.” He smiled. “No, it’s simply a phone you’ll always have on you, if you need it. It’s safe.”

I noticed he hadn’t gotten one for himself, though. He worried about me too much, and I wished he wouldn’t.

For the next ten minutes, I wrote a whole page of my name, Juliet Adrian Carter, over and over again in my journal.

For years, I’d been writing and signing my sister’s name, even though Juliet had always stayed my legal name. School, doctors’ offices, and such treated K.C. as a nickname, so I’d signed Juliet on official occasions, but rarely for anything else. I needed to get used to using it full-time again.

We pulled off the main road, taking a short trip through a dense brush to a clearing right on the banks of the lake. Tate had booked the campgrounds for next week, but we got lucky and got in early. There were other campers, and I could hear boat engines, squealing girls, and music already, hence the name “Party Cove.”

Although the beach ahead looked rocky, nothing was more beautiful. The panoramic view of evergreens surrounding the midnight blue lake, disturbed only by the havoc of Jet Skis and a few kayaks, was the epitome of summer fun. Fresh air, clear skies, and the laughter and music signaling good, clean fun. I couldn’t wait.

I just had no idea what to do first. Dive into the lake or get lost in the woods.

After we’d parked in the lot, we hauled our gear to the campground surrounding the beach and started setting up. The other campers in the area, about ten or so, already had a party going, and I caught sight of an old wooden rowboat completely filled with ice, soda, and an assortment of beers.

Even though it was early, the partying had commenced. I didn’t worry, though. Madoc would have a ball, but Fallon would rein him in. Jared had stopped overindulging in high school, so Tate would be relaxed, and they’d enjoy their time together. I got drunk once in my life, wasted an entire day on a hangover, and vowed never to do it again.

And Jax? I’d heard about a time or two that Madoc got him loaded, but I’d never seen it, and now I think I knew why.

Jax hated any dependencies. He didn’t smoke, do drugs, and I’d rarely ever seen him drink alcohol. Probably because of his father.

Maybe the shit he went through had served a purpose after all. It helped shaped the man he became. Survival, not suffering.

“Tent’s almost ready.” He came behind me and helped lift the air mattress I was hauling from the car. Tate, Fallon, and I had inflated the mattresses using the vacuum that attached to a car’s cigarette lighter. Easy peasy.