I stand. Kissing my fingers, I place them over her name. “I’ll bring the girls by soon. I promise.” A gust of wind whips through out of nowhere, and I laugh. “Yeah, I’ll bring her too. If I can convince her to forgive me.”
Wiping my eyes, I head to my truck. I need to hug my daughters. I need to tell them I love them and that their mommy loves them. It’s been a while since we’ve looked at pictures, and that’s exactly what we’re going to do tonight. The girls need a gentle reminder of their mommy in heaven. And then tomorrow, tomorrow I grovel and plead for Laken to forgive me. I’ve lost one woman that I love. I’ll be damned if I’m going to lose another.
Chapter 25
Laken
“What’s wrong?” Justine asks when she opens her front door.
“What makes you think that something is wrong?”
“Well, for starters, your eyes are red and puffy.” She crosses her arms over her chest, challenging me to deny it.
“Grayson and I broke up.” The words feel like acid as they roll past my lips. He gave me a glimpse of what life with him and the girls could be, before tearing it all away. I thought I knew what heartbreak was, but I was wrong.
This is a pain unlike anything else.
Deep, emotional, heart-wrenching pain.
“What?”
“Come on, I can tell you on the way.” She grabs her purse and a small bag that I’m sure is a change of clothes for the photo shoot today. I take the bag from her, and she sticks her tongue out at me.
“Talk,” she demands once we are on the road.
I tell her everything. How Grayson started to distance himself, our fight at the station, his confession about the girls, and the fact that he said we needed a break. “I haven’t heard from him since then,” I say, holding up my phone. “Shit, I forgot to charge it. Oh, well, Leni knows I’m with you if she needs me,” I say, dropping my phone back into my bag.
“What if Grayson calls?” she asks.
The ache in my chest intensifies. “You didn’t see his face yesterday, Just. He’s not going to call, at least not yet. If ever,” I add. “He was torn up, but he still pushed me away.”
“Not that I’m defending him, but that’s a lot to process.”
“I know.” I heave a heavy sigh. “I know, and I want to be patient and work through it with him, but he doesn’t want me. I can’t make him want me.”
“Do you really believe that, Laken? Do you really believe Grayson doesn’t want you?”
“No. He loves me. I know he does, but it doesn’t matter if he’s not willing to fight for us.”
“Give him some time. He’ll come to his senses.”
“I hope so,” I say, glancing out the window. “But enough about me and my relationship woes. How excited are you for this shoot?”
“You have no idea,” she gushes. “Originally, I was going to surprise Tucker, but I knew if I left town, he’d freak when he found out, so I had to tell him.”
“Understandable. You are having his baby,” I remind her.
“Yeah, yeah, whose side are you on anyway?” She laughs.
“Yours, always yours.” I smile at my best friend. “So, have you thought about the nursery yet?” I ask.
Justine tells me all about her plans to decorate the nursery, and of course, Tucker says she’s not allowed to lift a finger. I’m happy for my best friend. I’m glad to have her home, and I’m happy for the love that she’s found with Tucker.
“What about here for breakfast?” she asks, pointing to a small diner in Billings. “I was going to wait until we got closer, but the baby’s hungry,” she explains with a smile.
“This is perfect.” Together we make our way inside and settle into a small booth. The waitress is at our side in an instant, and we both order buttermilk pancakes with bacon, and a water, and orange juice.
“I have to show you my outfits,” she says, pulling her phone out of her purse. She flips through what she has planned.
“Oh, I love that. You should let your hair down for that one too,” I tell her.
“That’s a good idea.”
Our breakfast arrives, and we talk about anything and everything. Well, everything but Grayson and the girls. I’m glad, as I need a break from the torment of losing them. The worst part is that I’m still going to have to see them. I’m going to have to smile for those little girls and pretend that all is okay in our world. I don’t know how I’m going to manage to not break down and cry the next time Christine or Jackie brings them into the store, but for them, I know I will. Unless— I gasp.
“What?” Justine asks. “Where did you go just now? I lost you.”