A Touch of Ruin (Hades & Persephone 2)
Page 119
“You never once came with me to the hospital when I had to watch my best friend lie unresponsive. You never once stood by me while I held her hand. You could have told me when Thanatos would start showing up. You could have let me know she was...choosing to die. But you didn’t. You hide all of that, like it was some fucking secret. You weren’t there.”
For the first time since she was dumped in front of him by the Furies, he looked shocked and sounded a little lost when he said, “I didn’t know you wanted me there.”
“Why wouldn’t I?” she asked, and there was a twist in her voice, a note of her sadness she couldn’t hide.
“I’m not the most welcomed sight at a hospital, Persephone.”
“That’s your excuse?”
“And what’s yours?” he asked. “You never told me—”
“I shouldn’t have to tell you to be there for me when my friend is dying. Instead, you act like it’s as...normal as breathing.”
“Because death has forever been my existence,” he snapped, growing more and more frustrated.
“That’s your problem. You’ve been the God of the Underworld so long, you’ve forgotten what it is really like to be on the brink of losing someone. Instead you spend all your time judging mortals for their fear of your realm, for their fear of death, for their fear of losing who they love!”
She was a little shocked by the words coming out of her mouth. To be truthful, she hadn’t realized how angry she’d been until this very moment.
“So you were angry with me,” he said. “And once again, instead of coming to me, you decided to punish me by seeking Apollo’s help.” He spat the god’s name; his hatred evident.
“I wasn’t trying to punish you. When I decided to go to Apollo, I no longer felt like you were an option.”
Hades eyes narrowed. “After everything I did to protect you from him—”
“I didn’t ask that of you,” she snapped.
“No, I suppose you didn’t. You have never welcomed my aid, especially when it wasn’t what you wanted to hear.” He sounded so bitter, she flinched.
“That’s not fair.”
“Isn’t it? I have offered an Aegis, and you insisted you do not need a guard, yet you are regularly accosted on your way to work. You barely accept rides from Antoni, and you only do now because you don’t want to hurt his feelings. Then, when I offer comfort, when I try to understand your hurt over Lexa’s pain, it isn’t enough.”
“Your comfort?” she exploded. “What comfort? When I came to you, begging you to save Lexa, you offered to let me grieve. What was I supposed to do? Stand back and watch her die when I knew I could prevent it?”
“Yes,” Hades hissed. “That’s exactly what you were supposed to do. You are not above the law of my realm, Persephone!”
Clearly not. The Fates had come after her.
“I don’t see why her death matters. You come to the Underworld every day. You would have seen Lexa again!”
“Because it’s not the same,” she snapped.
“What is that supposed to mean?”
She glared at him; arms crossed tight over her chest. How was she supposed to explain this? Lexa was her first friend, her closest friend, and just when she thought she had her life in order, she met Hades who threw it all out of orbit. Lexa was the only anchor to her old life and now Hades wanted to take her, too?
Which led to the real problem and it hurt to say, because she was admitting her greatest fear.
“What happens if you and I,” she paused, unable to say the words. “If the Fates decide to unravel our future? I don’t want to be so lost in you, so anchored in the Underworld, that I don’t know how to exist after.”
Hades eyes narrowed, but when he spoke, his voice was desolate. “I’m beginning to think that maybe you don’t want to be in this relationship.”
Those words made her chest feel as if it were caving in. “That’s not what I’m saying.”
“Then what are you saying?”
She shrugged, and for the first time, she felt tears building behind her eyes. “I don’t know. Just that...right when I was really starting to figure out who I was, you came along and fucked it all up. I don’t know who I’m supposed to be. I don’t know—”