** ** **
I called the house at around 10:30, “What’s she doing?” I asked Sarah. I was waiting at one of our coffee shops on someone and that someone was late. Not impressed. I glanced at my watch and tapped my food impatiently.
“She’s not so good. She’s been crying. You really need to be gentler, give her time to---”
“I didn’t ask how she’s doing, I asked what she’s doing,” I snapped.
I could almost hear the disapproval through the dead air.
“Mind your own fucking business, Sarah; what’s she doing?”
“She’s watching television in your bedroom. I just checked on her and brought her coffee and breakfast. She won’t get out of bed.”
I switched the phone off without saying goodbye.
** ** **
That night I got back late but she was still awake. She was in my bed, staring at the TV when I opened the door. She didn’t look at me. I walked into the bathroom and undressed. When I came back her eyes were closed but I knew she wasn’t asleep. I got a drink and stood over the bed, watching her while slowly sipping from a glass of whiskey.
Tia
Go away, go away, leave me alone. I wanted to say this but I didn’t. I was quiet. I knew he was standing over me but I kept my eyes closed and tried to breathe evenly and to will him to go away. Then I felt the covers sliding away from me. I was still fully dressed in more of Sarah’s clothes, a pair of jean shorts and a blue tank top. She’d gone out and bought me a bra, some face wash, a toothbrush and she found my bra from grad day in with Tommy’s laundry. Now I felt the breeze from the air conditioning on my skin and I heard the sound of ice cubes tinkling in a glass. The television was then switched off and I felt his hand land on my ankle. He ran his palm up along my leg directly up to my hip. I wanted to keep pretending to sleep but I involuntarily shivered at his touch.
“You’re not following my directions very well,” he said softly and I opened my eyes to see him lean over and pull on the buttonhole of the shorts, releasing the button. I curled up into a ball. I heard more ice cubes tinkling.
“If I’m not here to give you something to wear to bed I want you waiting for me, naked. Get undressed.”
“Leave me alone,” I said softly.
“Get out of those clothes or I’ll do it.”
Then he’s gonna have to do it because I’m not submitting to him. No way. I curled into a tighter ball and then felt my pulse begin to race as I felt the bed depress. He was hovering over me.
“You’ve got a chance to behave. Follow my directions and I won’t punish you.”
I stayed still.
“Undress,” he said softly.
“Let me go. Please.” I started to tremble hard.
“Let you go?”
Tommy
“Please.” She looked at me and looked so vulnerable. Every nerve in my body was awake. I liked seeing the word please on her lips.
“Why would I do that?”
“Because you don’t need to do this. I’m sure that you can find someone to m-marry you. It doesn’t have to be me. We don’t know each other and I –”
Tia
“But you’re already mine,” he told me and there was something that was at first unreadable to me in his eyes. But then it registered. I had trouble putting a label on it but at that second, with that look in his eyes it felt like my fate was sealed.
Devastation filled me. It was like getting a death sentence. He’d slammed the proverbial gavel on the desk. He believed he owned me and he wasn’t going to let me go. He was going to play his sick games with me and continue to use me. He’d get off on my tears, on spanking me, on forcing me, and he’d enjoy every minute of it.
And I would come undone one stitch at a time. I already felt like I was a wreck. Something passed between us. It was like an exchange of knowing looks. I knew then that he wasn’t going to let me go and I was pretty sure he knew I was having that epiphany. A slow smile spread across his face.