“Do you understand me?” he took my throat into a soft but possessive grip. His eyes were suddenly fierce. I gasped. His eyes searched mine as he plunged into me over and over, not breaking eye contact and I gulped and gave a fractional nod. When he came inside of me, let out a huge breath, and then collapsed on top of me.
I could feel his heart hammering against me. I let out a rush of air as if I’d been holding my breath. He rolled off me and then his hands were between my legs and he started working his fingers, working to get me off. In a matter of 30 seconds, he accomplished his goal. I arched my back and let out a loud “Ahhhh!”
Then I curled into him. I was emotionally and physically totally and utterly spent. He was stroking my hair, rubbing my back, raining soft kisses on me until I fell asleep.
** ** **
I woke up hearing music playing. I sat up. Tommy was sitting at the back of the loft, denim-clad legs dangling out the opened doors, a guitar in his arms. The sun was setting over the pond and the sky was a brilliant orange. The view was dazzling. Seeing his strong naked back and hearing the strumming made for an even more beautiful view.
I got up and threw my t-shirt over my head and off and on top of my skirt that laid on the floor beside my flip flops, which he must have gone and fetched for me, then I put his discarded dove grey dress shirt on, did up the buttons, then padded to where he was. I sat on the floor behind him, putting my legs on either side of his hips so that my calves were over the edge, and I rested my cheek on his bare back. He continued to play and I recognized the tune. Wild Horses by the Rolling Stones. He played beautifully, soulfully. The sky, the sounds, the smell of the warm air, the smell of him, feeling his warm smooth skin under my cheek, I was inexplicably glad that I was here with him. I actually felt free for a moment. When he finished playing it, I recognized the next song as Iris, from the Goo Goo Dolls. It was one of my favorites.
Tommy
I knew it’d been brewing since before Mexico but today sealed it for me. I wanted her to want to be mine so bad I was willing to do just about anything to get her there. I wanted to take all the things that were fucked up in her life and erase them. I wanted to reboot our relationship.
I wanted to make the sun set and rise for her. I wanted to protect her. I wanted her to love me. I’d never felt this way before. It created fear and a fierce protective instinct in me that I’d never before experienced, but right now her body against me, watching the setting sun, and inhaling the summer night air we were breathing…this was it. This was all I needed. She’d come to me on her own and put her arms around me again, just like she’d done in the shower the other night. This was what I wanted. This. Not more money, not more power, just this. It was like I’d been missing something in my life that I didn’t know I was missing until her.
I wanted to dole out pain and punishment all the time. All the fucking time. But today she wanted pain from me. It was beautiful to me to see that and meant I didn’t want to give it to her. I made her want something from me, something only I could give her. She didn’t even name what she wanted from me and I didn’t want to give it a name, either. I just knew it was so satisfying --- even more than I’d expected. I wanted this time away to be different but I knew soon we’d go back to exploring her willingness to travel down darker corridors with me. Right now, I just wanted her to relax and forget everything she’d been upset about. I wanted her to feel safe, to enjoy being with me. I wanted that and I wanted her to want what only I could give her.
I put my guitar down and looked ahead. She was still behind me, her legs on either side of mine, and her cheek on my back. A breeze picked up a little and her silky hair blew up around my face. I inhaled and caught the scent of oats, honey, and vanilla. Her arms came around my waist and she flattened her palms against me, the right one across my abdomen, and the left across my chest. I looked down and saw her engagement ring on her finger and something welled up inside of me. I held my breath to hold back the overwhelming emotion surging through me.
We sat and watched the sun go down the rest of the way in silence. It was like the whole world was silent for a moment.
Finally, it was dark. I twisted and she let go of me and backed up. I think she thought I meant to get up but instead I climbed on top of her on the floor. I gave her a long, sensual, deep kiss, running my fingers through her hair, cupping her chin. I wanted to devour her. I held that desire back.
Tia
After he kissed me, hovering over me on the floor, he got to his feet and helped me up. Then he pulled a screen blind down over the opened barn door area and fastened it to the floor with snaps, I guess, to keep the bugs out. The little table with two chairs was not far from the back doors and on top of it sat the cooler and picnic basket. He lifted the basket down to the floor and opened the cooler and took out a few plastic lidded food containers and then a bottle of wine and motioned to the basket with his chin, giving me a little smile. He was smiling more often since we’d arrived here. That smile was so beautiful it made me feel almost giddy inside.
I opened the basket and reached in. I laid out a big square blue and white checked table cloth on the little round table and pulled two wine glasses from the leather straps holding them to the lid and set them on the table and then set out the two plates and two sets of cutlery as well as linen napkins that matched the table cloth. Tommy reached in and pulled out a candle stick and candle holder and fetched a barbecue lighter from a tall and weathered-looking armoire near the table and lit the candle. Then he poured wine while I layered cold breaded chicken, garden and potato salads from their containers onto the plates. There was also a lidded container full of fruit salad and a mason jar filled with a fragrant balsamic salad dressing.
Tommy put his phone on the table and Holding Back the Years by Simply Red played. We sat at the table and he lifted his wineglass up. I lifted mine.
“To beautiful sunsets,” he said.
“To beautiful sunsets.” I repeated.
“And winning at hide and seek or tag or whatever that was,” he added, watching me closely.
“Congratulations, champ, but I’d say there were no losers in that game,” I dipped my glass in his direction and then took a sip.
He winked at me and had the biggest smile on his face. We dug in to the delicious food.
After a few minutes of serious chowing down of Nita’s gorgeous food, I came up for air, “So, no one knows about this place?”
He nodded, swallowed a mouthful of wine, and said, “Nope. Every guy needs a retreat. Every guy in my line of work needs a safe house. So this is both for me.”
“But you brought me here,” I said, “Isn’t that against man cave rules?”
“Rules schmules.” He reached across the table and took my hand, “We needed to get away. I think maybe we should stay tomorrow night, too. Totally detox. But I’ll have to call in tomorrow and see what’s up before I’ll know if I can do an extra day. Would you wanna do that?”
“Sure,” I answered.
“Cool. We’ll stop by and see the Crenshaws tomorrow. Then if everything’s kosher we’ll come back. If not, we’ll go back to the house.”
“Okay.”
“Sooo,” I said after a few minutes of silence. There was a weird vibe coming off him. It was intense. I wanted things light and airy, “How long have you had this place and your house?”