We knew more than we were given credit for but Lisa rocked our already precarious world in a bad way with the truth about her relationship with Tom Ferrano Sr.
Normally, Luciana and I would put our heads together and pick things apart for hours or even days after a drama, big or little.
However, the day Lisa told us, tears in her eyes, who she really was and how she’d really met our father, why she was enrolled in culinary school with me? We then listened to our new sister-in-law, Angel, tell us how she met Dare and what her story was, how she and Lisa had come from the same awful place.
The way our new sister-in-law was when we first met her? Timid and jittery? Lisa wasn’t like that at all. But I guess it made sense how Angel’s sudden appearance meant some sort of delayed reaction with Lisa. We first thought Pop’s death was hitting her late. There was Tommy’s wedding and all that we’d been through. Getting home and then having nothing going on gave us all too much time to reflect.
We knew the miscarriage had devastated her, beyond measure. But now, in hindsight, I could see that Angel’s appearance was the start of Lisa unraveling.
Lisa gave us a bunch more facts and then said that her counselor had helped, that Dare and Tommy arranged for her to go to some retreat and that put her on the road to healing. She said she knew she had a long road ahead but invited us to ask questions if we had any. She also said she never thought poorly of our father, that he rescued her and had treated her like absolute gold.
After a long and awkward silence, after her tale was told, after Angel spoke, she asked again,
“Do you want to ask me anything?”
I shrugged. Luc started to cry. Tia hugged Luc. Lisa started to cry. Angel hugged Lisa. I just sat there, numb. Not hugging anyone, not wanting to be hugged. Not crying. Lisa reached for me, but I gave her the hand and said, “I need a minute.”
My eyes were the only dry ones at the table. I’d already spent so much time crying in the previous few months that I guess tears were in short supply.
We wrapped the lunch up then. Eddy packed our food to-go because we’d barely touched our meals what with the drama being spilled after appetizers, Lisa telling us, through tears, how much we meant to her, telling us how much it meant being welcomed into our family. How sorry she was that she wasn’t able to tell us the truth before then, how keeping that secret was so ingrained that it took everything to even say it aloud.
I just kept nodding, I think. But I was feeling like I was about to have an anxiety attack so I needed air. I think I kept saying I just needed air and finally got up to go get some.
As I was putting my coat on, she told us that she’d understand if we didn’t want anything to do with her from now on. She also said that there were things we didn’t know, security-related issues, that meant that she had to play the part for a while, that we had to keep it secret or all of our lives would be in danger.
“As soon as it’s safe for me to go, if you want me gone, I’ll go. I don’t want to go. You guys are my family. But I will if you want me to.”
Luc and I stared, in shock. What we didn’t do was tell her whether we wanted her to go or stay.
“I just need some air,” was what I’d said and I’d gone outside. My brother Dare stopped me from getting in my car. He’d just shown to pick up Angel and took me and my sister in his SUV instead, saying he’d have someone bring my car home later. He went in to get Angel and Luc and I sat there. I didn’t say bye. I was too… I don’t know.
As he drove, he lectured us about the importance of keeping it all quiet.
Luc had started getting emotional, bordering on losing her shit, asking what he was gonna do about a place like that existing, a place that had fucked over his wife and Lisa, two members of the Ferrano fa
mily.
Dare had told her to shut up,
“Shut up, Luc. Listen to me. I told you after Pop died, Tommy and I would find a way to get us all clear of his shit and I wasn’t joking. It’s just takin’ a bit to finesse and we keep getting roadblocked.”
He went back to talking to us about keeping our mouths shut.
I couldn’t even talk to Bianca about it. As close as she was to our family, like another sister to us because her father was our father’s business partner for years, keeping our mouths shut meant keeping them shut completely.
We didn’t have to be told twice; we might’ve been called spoiled and oblivious mafia princesses by bitches who didn’t really know us, but we had Ferrano blood running through our veins.
As much as we busted Dare and Tommy’s chops at times, they were authority figures in our lives, had been since they were teenagers. Well, Tommy always. When we were small, he always had this dark and authoritative presence in our lives.
It took teenage hormones and for me to grow into my inner diva to stand up to my oldest brother. I joked all the time that he was a puppy dog under that angry demeanor but really, he wasn’t a puppy unless the puppy was rabid and a Pitbull.
I’d said it a few times hopefully, trying to crack his wall, but until he’d met Tia he rarely even cracked smiles around us. He was protective and he was smart and serious and we knew that our family was in the midst of some messy circumstances and we knew when our brothers, either of them, meant business. This was business time. Dare and Tommy were the law, just as Pop was when he was still here.
Luc wanted to be dropped with me at Pop’s house, where I now lived. I hadn’t been able to cope after Jim and Pop died so I’d moved back to my old room, my boys in the adjoining bedroom that used to be Luciana’s, and my house sat as it used to, before my husband died.
I’d just taken our clothes, the kids’ toys, and left. I was sure my houseplants were all dead. Mail piled up. I didn’t know if anyone stopped by the house and did anything with the grass or the pool. I hadn’t had the ability to even care.
After Lisa’s truth, I pondered going back, so I could be alone for a bit, but Dare drove us to our childhood home before I had a chance to say otherwise and Luciana followed me inside and we went right to my bedroom.