“You're not messed up,” she said. “Not at all. You're more together than anybody I know. Losing Caroline was traumatic, though. Nobody knows how they'll react to losing a loved one until it actually happens. Then, when it does, everything goes out the window. You find out who you really are.”
“Yeah, I guess you're right,” he said. “I'm not so sure I like who I really am, though. I mean, what normal guy turns down a girl like you when he's about to have sex with her? If that doesn't paint me as a total weirdo, then I don't know what does.”
Lily smiled. “You know, in a way, I think it's kind of sweet. I think the fact that you didn't want to betray your heart makes you ten times more of a man than any guy who would just hook up with a girl for the sole reason that he could.”
“So you don't think I'm weird?” he asked.
“Well I don't know about that,” she said, with a playful wink. “I like who you are, Wyatt. And I respect where you stand and your feelings for Caroline. As much as I'd like tonight to continue on like it was a few minutes ago, I don't want you to do anything that makes you feel guilty.”
“Thank you for understanding,” Wyatt said. “I mean it. I truly appreciate it.”
“You don't have to thank me,” she said. “I'm just doing what I feel is the right thing to do. I know how much you loved Caroline and I would understand if it took years for your heart to heal from losing her. I don't blame you one bit for being guarded. I'd be the same way.”
Wyatt squeezed her hands and let out a sigh. His cock had relaxed now and the bulge in the front of his pants had faded away. “I guess I should head to bed and get some sleep. I'd like to get up early enough to have breakfast with you and Maggie before you head back home.”
Lily nodded slowly. “Yeah, I'm kind of tired anyway. So, I'll see you in the morning?”
“Yeah,” Wyatt said. “See you then.”
Lily released Wyatt's hands, then turned and walked away from him. He watched her until she turned out of the room, disappearing up the stairs.
“Fuck,” he whispered, then collapsed onto the couch.
He wasn't sure if things would ever be the same between he and Lily after fooling around with each other like that. She did say that it wouldn't change anything, but he had a hard time understanding how that could possibly be true.
It changes everything, he thought. I'll never be able to look at her in the same way and I doubt she'll be able to do the same with me. At least she wasn't mad, though. I've got to hand it to her, too. Most girls would have flipped out if I'd stopped foreplay because I was thinking about my dead wife.
Wyatt wiped his eyes with the back of his hands and then lifted his arms into a stretch.
I guess I'll head to bed, he thought. I'll try to get some sleep, but God knows the only thing I'll be able to think about now is Lily.
Chapter 20
Lily
Lily woke up early the next morning to the sound of birds at her window. When she opened her eyes, she squinted against the sunshine that poured across her face.
It's late, she thought. I must have slept in.
It was nearly eight in the morning, much later than she'd been sleeping lately. She had been up late, though. After making out with Wyatt and nearly having sex with him, he was all that she could think about. He was in every one of her dreams and on her mind. She had tossed and turned all night. Finally, though, at around three in the morning, she managed to fall asleep.
What a weird night, she thought to herself, kicking the covers off.
She stretched her hands over her head and yawned, then walked to the closet to find something to wear. She decided on a pair of jeans and a dark blue blouse. Normally, she would have showered in the morning, but figured since she would be headed home in the next hour or so that she might as well do it there.
“I guess I should pack,” she said, glancing at the closet that she'd claimed as her own for the past week.
It almost felt like she really lived there now, though. She had shoes and clothes in the closet. Her makeup, brush and hair straightener was on the bathroom counter. She even had her own alarm clock on the stand next to the bed.
It had only been a week, but Lily had definitely made herself at home. The thought of packing it all up to leave kind of hurt her heart a little bit. It felt like the end of an amazing vacation. She didn't want to go back to her regular life.
Of course, the fact that Wyatt was offering to let her work there on weekends was really nice. Still, that felt different to her. That felt like just coming in for a couple of days to watch Maggie. This previous week had been a taste of what real life with the family could have been like and she really loved how it felt.
Oh well, she thought. I guess all good things come to an end.
Lily heard Maggie's laughter. It was faint and she could tell that it was coming from downstairs.
I'll pack up my things and then go have breakfast with them, she thought. I'm dreading sayin