‘Your half-brothers...’ she offered huskily. ‘They looked happy in the wedding pictures.’
Cesar’s jaw tightened. ‘They’re different. They had a different upbringing, different perspectives.’
Lexie thought of his grandmother, cruelly making him cut out and paste pictures of them growing up with their mother—his mother. Together.
‘They had your mother... But I wonder if it was any easier or better for them just because she was there?’
‘Perhaps—perhaps not,’ Cesar said, but it rang hollow.
Lexie wanted to slide her arm around him but didn’t. ‘Are you going to see them again?’
He glanced at her and his face was hard. As it had been when he’d looked at the portraits of his grandparents.
‘I have nothing in common with them. Especially not now.’
He turned to face her more fully and Lexie almost shivered at the frost in his eyes.
‘I made a decision a long time ago never to marry and have children.’
‘Why?’ Lexie breathed, not liking how that declaration seemed to affect her physically. How it felt as if he was giving her a distinct message.
‘Because I vowed that the castillo is no place for a child. The legacy of my family is tainted, built on obsessive greed. Snobbery. When I die the castillo will be left to the local town and they can do what they like with it. And all the money will go to various charities and trusts. That’s what I’m building it up for now.’
‘But...’ Lexie searched wildly for a way to penetrate the cool shell that surrounded Cesar. ‘You said yourself that you wanted to renovate the castillo, but...why bother? Why not just leave it behind now?’
Cesar looked at her then, and for a second Lexie saw bleakness in those green depths. A bleakness that resonated in her because she knew what it felt like herself.
‘Because...’ he was grim ‘...it’s in my damn blood like some kind of poison.’
Lexie was stunned into silence. She didn’t like the way she wanted to do something to comfort Cesar. Touch him. And even though he was only inches away it felt as if a chasm yawned between them.
Huskily she said, ‘I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything.’
His mouth tipped up but it was a parody of a smile, a million miles away from the smiles she’d seen earlier.
‘What about you, Lexie? Do you wish for a cottage with a white picket fence and a gaggle of cherubic children?’
For a second Lexie felt nothing. The words seemed to hang suspended in the air between them. But then it was as if a roaring flood was approaching and gathering speed from a long way off. Pain. Incredible pain.
A kaleidoscope of images bombarded her—a tiny baby, crying lustily. Nurses with rough hands and judgemental looks. Officials. And then...nothing. Silence. More pain.
‘Lexie?’
She blinked. Cesar was watching her, his eyes narrowing. Face stark. From somewhere she found a brittle smile and said through the ball of emotion growing in her chest, ‘You forgot the dog...there’s a dog there too.’
‘Ah...yes, of course. No idyllic picture would be complete without a dog.’
Cesar put down his glass and took Lexie’s from her too. He reached for her with both hands and pulled her into his body. Lexie felt cold, and she shivered lightly. She desperately wanted to drive away the chill and feel warm again. She desperately wanted to blank out the dark images she’d just seen.
Coming up on her tiptoes, Lexie reached up and brought her arms around Cesar’s neck, pressing her whole body against his. She saw the flare in his eyes and felt herself start to thaw from the inside out.
‘Kiss me, Cesar.’
Cesar smiled briefly before a look of almost feral intent crossed his face. He moved his hands up to Lexie’s face.
The kiss was fierce and passionate, and before Lexie lost all ability to think clearly she knew that they were both running away from the demons nipping at their heels. This time, though, it didn’t feel like kinship—it felt bleak.
* * *