More hurt bloomed inside Lexie to think that he was acting out of a sense of duty. ‘I’ve done my therapy, Cesar, years of it,’ she sneered. ‘You really don’t have to act as my babysitter just because it turns out that your lover is damaged goods.’
Now Cesar was angry. He took her arms in his hands, gripping her. ‘Don’t you dare put words in my mouth. I don’t think any such thing. And you are not damaged. You’re perfect.’
Lexie’s anger drained away, leaving her feeling shaky. ‘I’m sorry. I just...I shouldn’t have told you.’
‘I’m glad you told me. It’s just a lot to take in.’
He let go of her arms and stepped back, raking a hand through his hair. Lexie felt bereft.
‘Look,’ she offered, ‘I’m fine—really. I always suspected this scene would be difficult. But it’s one of the reasons I took the job in the first place. Initially I wanted to say no, but I knew I couldn’t let it stop me. I dealt with what happened a long time ago, Cesar. But something like this would be difficult even under the best of circumstances.’
Cesar shook his head lightly. He came close again, touched Lexie’s jaw.
‘You shouldn’t have had to face it alone.’
Lexie felt emotion building inside her. Terrified of it, she said simply, ‘I’ve always been alone.’
Cesar looked at her with a burning intensity. Desire, pure and hot, sparked to life within her, mixing with the emotion to produce something volatile. She brought her hand up to cover his and saw his eyes widen slightly.
‘Please...’
One word. She could see that he understood, and she trembled inwardly in case he might balk. He could never know the depth of how badly she needed him right now—for myriad reasons.
His voice was gruff. ‘Lexie...are you sure? The other night...’
She nodded. ‘I’m sure. The other night...it wasn’t about you. It was about me.’
‘I don’t want to hurt you.’
‘You won’t...’
He didn’t move, though. Frustration welled inside her. Maybe Cesar couldn’t deal with the ugly truth of what had happened to her. She took her hand down, stepped back, dislodging his hand. She’d just exposed herself spectacularly.
‘It’s okay... If you don’t want me any more because of—’
His hand shot out, caught her. She looked at him.
‘Of course I want you.’ He sounded fierce. ‘I just have to look at you to want you.’
He came closer. Held her face with both hands. ‘You’re in my blood. I need you.’
Lexie’s own blood sang. She needed him too. Her whole being came alive as he drew her close and lowered his mouth to hers. The kiss was so tender and gentle that she almost emitted a sob of emotion, but held it back.
When he drew back he took her by the hand and led her into his bedroom. There was no sense of hesitation within Lexie. No sense of that same panic that had gripped her the other evening. She knew now that that had been largely because of her apprehension of acting out being raped. And it was over.
Cesar stopped by the bed and she faced him. He said, ‘If you want to stop...’
Something melted inside her. She shook her head, her hands going to the buttons on his shirt, her voice husky with need. ‘I won’t want to stop.’
Her hands were clumsy on his buttons and he gently took them away to undo them himself. Lexie sucked in a breath to see his chest revealed. She opened the knot on her robe.
Cesar looked down and she saw a dark flush slash across his cheekbones. He slid his hands under the shoulders of her robe and pushed it till it fell to the floor.
Lexie ran her hands over his pectorals, her nails grazing his nipples, making them stand up into hard little points. She reached forward and put her mouth there, swirling her tongue around one hard tip, feeling her core moisten with desire.
As she lavished kisses on his chest and nipples her hands were on his jeans, flipping open the buttons, feeling the hard ridge of his arousal brushing her fingers. She drew back and pushed his jeans down, taking his underwear with them, her breath disappearing when his erection was freed.
She wrapped a hand around him, awed by his sheer size and strength and the knowledge that he would never use it to hurt her. Cesar was kicking his feet free of his clothes and then he put his hands on Lexie’s arms.