Cesar knew then that as much as his grandparents had all but imprisoned him in this castillo when he was a child, since he’d become an adult he’d happily inflicted the same punishment on himself, and self-disgust filled him.
Lexie’s face and eyes filled his vision. How she’d looked that last time he’d seen her, in the ridiculous period nightgown. Pale. Yet strong. Defiant in the face of his frankly pathetic response to her pain and trauma.
Something had shut down inside him that day, as if to protect him from feeling the pain too acutely. But now that was breaking apart inside him as he stared out at a bleak view that was seared into his consciousness.
He was sick of bleak. He was sick of darkness. He was sick of himself.
Damn Lexie, indeed. Because she hadn’t made him forget who he was at all. She’d shown him exactly who he was and who he could be. If he was brave enough.
* * *
The street was stinking, narrow. Beggars lined it, calling out for mercy or money. Small children darted under people’s feet. Lexie stepped out of the path of a horse and carriage only at the last moment an
d gasped as it whistled past. Her long skirts were splashed with mud. People jostled her. She was going against the tide. And all she could think about, even as the cameras were running, was him. Cesar.
She cursed him for about the hundredth time that day and hoped that her expression conveyed anger at her co-star, who followed her through the streets, tracking her like a hunted animal.
‘Cut!’
Immediately Lexie stopped. All of the extras turned and went back to their first positions on the enormous set that had been built for the film on a back lot in the London studios. A swarm of crew moved in to rearrange things, fix focus marks, touch up hair and make-up.
Lexie felt removed, though. The director approached her and she smiled brightly.
He took her arm and said in a low voice, ‘Lexie, are you all right? You just seem...not that focused.’
She grimaced inwardly, regretting having ever told him what had happened to her. He’d been overly solicitous ever since. ‘Sorry, Richard... I’m fine. It’s just—’
‘Oh, my God.’
‘Sir! Sir! You can’t go onto the set without a pass!’
Richard frowned and looked past Lexie. ‘What on earth is he doing here?’ he said incredulously.
Lexie felt a prickling sensation and turned around to see a tall figure approaching them. But even now she couldn’t really compute that it was him.
Cesar. Dressed in dark worn jeans. A jumper and a battered brown leather jacket. Dark golden hair glinting in the London sunshine. He was almost too gorgeous to be real.
She even heard one of the extras nearby say in an awestruck voice, ‘Who is that?’ and Lexie could almost sympathise with the inevitable impact he would be having on some poor unsuspecting person’s senses.
He looked as intense as she’d ever seen him. A security guard caught up with him and took his arm. Cesar shook him off and kept coming.
Her mouth had gone bone-dry. She wondered if she was seeing things. Damn this corset that constricted her breath...
Cesar stopped just feet away and the security guard came panting up behind him. ‘Now, look here—’
Lexie put out a shaky hand. ‘It’s all right, we know him. I...know him.’
Then all the anger and pain that had been her constant companion for a week now came flooding up, boiling over. She hissed at Cesar, ‘What are you doing here? We’re in the middle of a scene.’
‘So I see,’ he remarked dryly, taking in all the gawping extras and the crew, who were loving the interruption. He looked back at Lexie, and then spoke as if they were continuing a conversation that had stopped only moments ago. ‘The thing is I should never have agreed with you when you said we should end the affair.’
Lexie gulped and darted a look at the avid crowd. ‘Cesar, do we really have to do this here?’
Just then Richard stepped forward. ‘Now, listen, Da Silva—interrupting my set once was—’
Cesar took his eyes off Lexie to stare at the man, and Lexie shivered when she saw the familiar steel in his expression.
‘How much will it cost to shut down production for the rest of the day?’