“But if you’d already drunk from it with Paulette, I—”
“Rachel—that jug never left the armoire until I went for it the morning after we made love. You see, I never officially proposed to Paulette.”
“You didn’t?” she asked tentatively.
“No. One day Yves said, ‘You two should get married or never see each other again.’ That was it.”
“But your mother said you went to the hospital, and—”
“Maman said a lot of things without knowing the truth of the situation.”
He kissed her throat. “When are you going to start listening to me? I was so madly in love with you, Paulette wasn’t in my thoughts.
“Shh.” He quieted her with his lips as she started to protest again. “Maman was projecting her own feelings about Papa and hasn’t been through a divorce to understand how my failed marriage killed my feelings for Paulette. Happily married couples can’t comprehend what it’s like, and I swear to you that the only thing driving me for the last few years has been…guilt.”
She shook her head in bewilderment. “Why guilt? You didn’t do anything wrong,” she declared passionately.
He drew in a sharp breath. “I thought I did.”
“What do you mean?”
“When Paulette and I separated, I told you I moved back into my parents’ home so she could still live in the house I bought for us.
“Two days after the judge granted the divorce, Paulette phoned me about the deed to the house I’d given her in the decree. She wanted it to give to her attorney, and asked me to bring it to her, but I suggested she come by the office because I was too busy.
“There was a terrible storm that day, the kind you and I got caught in last month, and during the downpour the truck skidded into her car and knocked her unconscious. If I’d dropped what I was doing and had gone to her, she would still be alive and able to work out her future.”
Rachel cupped his face. “You couldn’t have known that truck would run into her. That wasn’t your fault!”
He kissed her hands. “I know that now. But all those feelings and fears got twisted for a long time. Once I heard about the accident, I didn’t cease begging her forgiveness. But I could never be sure if she heard me.
“I knew that once her family made the decision to turn off the machines, there wouldn’t be a possibility of her hearing me, let alone forgiving me.”
He smiled sadly. “That’s why I was determined she would wake up. That had been my torture until you told me about your twin, and I saw what guilt did to you for something that wasn’t your fault. You helped me understand how wrong it was to keep punishing myself. That’s when I let go of my guilt.”
“Oh, Luc—” She threw her arms around his neck. “You poor darling. So that’s the reason you were so upset when you carried me in the house during the storm. You kept saying it was your fault because we’d worked outside too long. I couldn’t understand your suffering.”
He pressed his forehead to hers. “The thought of anything happening to you almost paralyzed me and you know why, don’t you? I love you, Rachel Chartier, and I believe you love me. But I’ve never heard you say the words. Tell me you love me,” he begged.
“I have told you—” she cried. “Over and over again. Why do you think I married you? It was for one reason only. I’m in love with you!
“When I told you that you were the only man I ever wanted, I was really telling you I’d fallen head over heels in love. But I didn’t know your true feelings.”
He crushed her mouth with his own, drowning in euphoria because she was kissing him back with the whole of her heart and soul.
His mother’s words filled his mind.
If you could have heard the joy in her voice, or have seen the stars in her eyes…
Luc was hearing and seeing and feeling it all now…
He bound her soft, curving warmth to him.
“When I came to your hotel room in Colmar and you told me I’d made you pregnant, I learned the meaning of joy, and vowed I’d never let you out of my sight again.
“Because of my past history with Paulette, I wanted to give you time to accept the fact that I was in love with you. Staying away from you every night has been an agony I never want to go through again.”
“Neither do I!”