Baby In A Million

“As a graduating senior, several government agencies interviewed me for jobs at different areas around the country, but the one I wanted was the ranger job in Teton National Park.

“I decided to check it out first and met a guy, Art Williams, who was the chief ranger. From the start we seemed to hit it off. There were many things to admire about him, but above all he was physically fit for the work which involved a lot of mountaineering.

“I couldn’t go far without being winded. He sized me up fast. He said that a guy who was born to live in the back country, yet still had trouble catching his breath, had to be a smoker. When I said yes, he told me there were fifty other guys applying for the job, but it was mine if I’d quit. I guess I wanted it badly enough that I stopped.”

Ashley saw Vince cock his head and stare at Cord. “Was it difficult?”

“No. Not really. Every day of abstention I felt better. There was too much work to do, and I enjoyed the job more than anything I’d ever done in my life.”

“Now that you look back on it, Cord, can you see that there might have been an underlying reason why you no longer needed the nicotine?”

Cord looked pensive. “Yes. I was no longer feeling any pressure from home and could please myself.”

“Exactly.” Vince rose from the chair. “Think about that during lunch. After the group session, we’ll talk some more. Right now I’m going to leave you two alone and I’ll see you here at two o’clock.”

Ashley dreaded his leaving, but she couldn’t very well call him back to provide a needed buffer.

To her surprise, Cord headed for the door. “I’m going outside for a short walk before lunch. Is there anything I can get for you before I go?”

Her emotions were in chaos. On the one hand, she feared being alone with him because they’d touched on so much that was new and painful. Conversely, it angered her that he would just walk out, leaving her to internalize all this information without further explanation.

Every revelation had brought new questions. Sh

e hardly knew where to start.

“According to the rules Dr. Drake presented, we’re supposed to be together at all times, like a buddy system.”

His dark blue eyes glittered dangerously. “We’re hardly buddies, Ashley. I get the distinct feeling you’d like to be as far away from me as possible. Since you’re pregnant and need to rest, I’ll be the one to do the honors. Don’t worry. I’m not about to light up yet.”

“Please, Cord. I didn’t mean to intimate that you couldn’t be trusted. Don’t go— W-we need to talk.”

His mouthed tightened to a pencil-thin line. “That’s all I’ve been doing this morning.”

She took a deep breath. “That wasn’t talking. You were giving Vince facts. There’s a world of difference.”

His gaze seemed to impale her. “But you still consider it fiction.”

“I didn’t say that!” she defended hotly.

He folded his arms in an intimidating gesture. “Which part did you believe?”

Ashley avoided his gaze and sat down on the chair Vince had just vacated. She needed some support at her back. “Why didn’t you ever tell me about Sheila? About what happened when you were eighteen?”

“The truth?” he muttered thickly.

“That’s why I’m here,” came her tremulous response.

After a long pause, “Because I knew from the time you first met her that she intimidated you. I didn’t want to tell you anything that could feed your insecurity and contribute to your fears.”

She fought tears. “But don’t you see? By withholding that information from me, it made everything so much worse. Whenever she baited me, she insinuated that you two had a history, one you emphatically denied until today!”

“That’s because we didn’t have a relationship or anything remotely close to it. I didn’t sleep with her.” His voice grated. “But with hindsight, I can see I made a grave mistake in not telling you what happened at the office that night. Do you believe me, Ashley?”

His question permeated the very air they were breathing.

“Yes. As far as your explanation goes,” she added on a whisper.

She knew the last remark would enflame him, but she couldn’t recall it because that wouldn’t be staying true to herself.