Aloha from Hell (Sandman Slim 3)

“I guarantee you I’m not going to forget your voice. We’re going to run into each other down the road sometime, and when we do I’m going to pop you apart one rivet at a time.”

“There’s the monster. Hello, monster.”

“I hope you have another lemonade stand stashed out back because this one is going out of business.”

He sighs.

“With everything you know about the Vigil, you don’t think we’d put our whole operation in one location, do you? Do your worst. We’ll be up and running again by the end of the week.”

“My worst is a lot worse than you remember. Be sure to check the papers tomorrow. It’ll be on the front page.”

“I wouldn’t expect anything less from you, Abomination.”

Candy is looking at me when I hang up.

“What was that all about?”

“This place isn’t just a drug lab. It’s God’s little terrorist angel army on earth. That was yoh. Thatone of them on the phone. You know how you said not everything is about me? Well, this is. Aelita sent a demon after Hunter because she knew I’d find out that he’s TJ’s little brother. I bet it’s one of these pricks who sent me the text knowing it would piss me off and get me on the case.”

She raises her eyebrows.

“They sound like they have their shit wired tight. How can you go after people like that?”

“I’m not. Come on. We’re getting out of here.”

I take Candy outside through a shadow by a bookcase.

When we’re on the street, I dial a number on my cell. No one answers. I don’t leave a message. A second later the phone rings. There’s silence on the line.

“Do you know where I am?”

“Yes,” says Josef.

“The building and everything inside is yours. Be sure to make a mess.”

“We’ve been waiting so long for something to do, a mess is inevitable.”

The line goes dead.

We walk to the other side of the street and into an alley hidden from view. Normally I’d cut and run from a scene like this, but Candy will want to see it.

“Who was that?”

“A guy who’s head I once chopped off.”

“What is it with you and cutting off heads?”

“It’s an old habit. The crowd loved it in the arena. If you do it right, the body does a twitchy little dance before it falls over.”

“It’s pretty fucked up that you know that. I like it.”

“I know. I’ve been saving that one up for you.”

She kisses me on the cheek.

A warm wind swirls down from the sky, kicking up garbage and whirlpooling it away. There’s a roar behind it. Like the wind, but lower in pitch. Like a billion hungry locusts. Or a jet flying low. Maybe both.

I say, “Among God’s many fuckups at the beginning of time was this. When he created the angels he created something else, too. They’re called the Kissi. Watch close because we’re not staying long.”