Aloha from Hell (Sandman Slim 3) - Page 122

“I’ll be ready.”

Traven looks at Candy and me.

“If he gets out, grab him and hold him, but try not to break him.”

“I don’t make rash promises. But he won’t get away,” I say.

Traven turns to the boy, holding his hands over him, palms down. His head is forward and eyes are closed. He’s praying. To whom? I wonder.

Traven opens his eyes, raises his hands, and starts a chant. Another prayer, blessing the bread and salt. But I’ve never heard anything like what’s coming out of his mouth, and I’ve heard drunk Hellions. Whatever language he’s speaking is full of blurps, hisses, and deep Tibetan-monk throat drones and glottal stops. It sounds like a man drowning.

Hunter’s eyes snap open. They’re yellow and bloodshot, but alert. His heart is beating a million miles an hour, but his breathing is ragged. I don’t know how both of those things can be going on inside him without him having a heart attack. His mouth slowly falls open. A vapor, as thin as fog but as bright as fire, drifts out. Guess Hunter’s mother was telling the truth when she said he spit fire when he burned the symbol into the ceiling.

It doesn’t surprise or impress Traven even a little. With one hand he pushes Hunter’s head down. With the other hand, he picks up salt and throws it into Hunter’s mouth. Then he shoves in a piece of bread to seal in whatever’s trying to get out. divto get Hunter goes completely batshit, thrashing and convulsing like he’s being electrocuted. He flails his arms at his face, trying to knock out the bread, but Traven’s magic has taken away a lot of his motor control. Traven keeps a hand over the kid’s mouth, holding the bread in place. I grab Hunter’s shoulders and Candy holds his feet to keep him from kicking.

Traven chants, and with one hand over Hunter’s mouth he sprinkles salt over the lumps of bread and wolfs them down. Each time he downs bread and salt, Hunter goes wilder and wilder. I’m holding him tight. Candy is leaning over him, resting her whole weight on Hunter’s legs.

All at once he stops moving. Goes completely limp. No one moves, in case he’s playing possum. But Hunter doesn’t twitch. Finally Traven nods to me and Candy and I let go. He takes some of the remaining salt and uses his finger to draw an elaborate sign on Hunter’s forehead. He still isn’t moving. I look at Candy and Vidocq and then back to the kid. I’m getting worried that the bread Traven shoved into Hunter’s mouth has choked him. Traven takes the bread out of Hunter’s mouth, cupping his hands around it. He holds it out with both hands.

Traven says, “The demon is in here. Use the Spiritus Dei.”

Vidocq pops the top off the small vial with his thumb and upends the Spiritus on the bread. Traven squeezes the bread like a wet sponge so that some of the liquid dribbles into Hunter’s mouth. Then Traven shoves the bread into his own mouth, chews, and swallows it quick. When it’s down, he gets a funny look on his face.

I say, “What?”

“It doesn’t taste right.”

“What does that mean?”

“I should taste the remains of the demon. It’s something, but it’s not—” That’s the last thing he gets out before Hunter’s hand snaps up and grabs him by the throat.

The kid gets a good grip and lifts Traven from the floor. Traven flails at Hunter’s arms, but he might as well be hitting tree trunks with a powder puff. I punch Hunter on the side of the head, digging a knuckle into his temple hard, but not hard enough to crack bone. He doesn’t even react, just keeps squeezing Traven. Candy leaps from the end of the platform onto Hunter’s chest. As she pushes him down, I give him one more shot in the head. I can’t hit him any harder without scrambling his brains, so I aim low, hitting his floating ribs hard enough that I can feel a couple crack. That gets the message through. Hunter gasps and drops Traven, suddenly not able to breathe. Candy gives him a decent shot to the jaw before I pull her off. That knocks Hunter back onto his back. But not for long.>“Don’t sweat Hell, Father. There are Hellions down there and damned souls that owe me favors. I’ll make sure you’re taken care of.”

The window is down a little on his side of the car. He pushes his hair back with a hand as lined and creased as his face. He does a little grunting laugh.

“I’ve read the most powerful and harrowing demonic texts you can imagine, and this conversation is still the strangest thing I’ve heard. You really think you can make deals with fallen angels?”

“There are Hellions down there with more honor than half the humans I meet.”

“That’s not terribly comforting, but I suppose it will have to do.”

“That pretty much sums up Hell.”

The road smooths out as we near the top. I can just see Avila’s blackened roof through the trees.

I say, “Too bad guys like us can’t apply for unemployment. You think they have special forms for being fired by a deity?”

“I heard you worked for Lucifer. Lucifer isn’t God.”

“You don’t spend enough time in Hollyginime in wood.”

Traven looks up through the trees. He’s spotted Avila, too. Candy is kicking the back of my seat again, bored with the talk and the drive. She wants to get her teeth into a demon. My kind of girl.

Traven says, “You’ve told me some of what you know about the universe; now let me tell you something. If you want to know why the world and all of Creation is so broken and afflicted, look up the word ‘demiurge.’ ”

Traven turns to look at Vidocq.

“If I’m killed today, I want you to take my library. I trust you to take care of my books.”

Tags: Richard Kadrey Sandman Slim Fantasy
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