“Stop!”
The rookie fires twice. Exit wounds punch fist-size holes out of the back of Josef’s designer shirt, but he never stops moving. I can hear the rookie’s neck snap from all the way over here. I go over to the curb to check on the older cop. He’s unconscious, but his heart is beating.
“Get away from him and do what you came here to do!” shouts Josef.
He heads for me, but he’s been shot and he’s a little slow. I get to him first. Squeezing his throat with one hand and his balls with the other, I flip him up and over the front of the cop car. He rolls and smashes the windshield. Before he can scramble off, I grab his ankle and spin, tossing him into the back of the Metro. He bounces off it and takes a swing at me, but he’s off balance. I slip his blow and punch him in the throat. He falls to his knees.
“Don’t ever just walk in and take over a situation I have in hand. Understand?”
He nods, trying to remind his throat how to breathe.
“And don’t tell me how to do what I do. I invited you here, but it’s still my tea party. It might not look like it to you sometimes, but I know what I’m doing. Got it?”
Josef nods. Resting his elbows on the Metro, he pulls himself to his feet. He’s still unsteady, so I lean him back against the car, playing concerned dad now that the kid’s been put in his place. The truth is I don’t know what I’m doing two-thirds of the time, but I’d never admit that to a Kissi. What I need to do is calm Hermann Göring down.
I say, “You’re going to get to do a lot more killing soon. And against a lot more fun and interesting opponents than these two. When it’s over, you’ll have Hell and your own kingdom again. That is if you don’t get trigger-happy and Fuck. Up. Everything. Do you know where Eleusis is?”
Josef nods.
“When I get Downtown that’s where I’m heading. Wait for my signal there. Got it?”
“Yes,” he says. If his eyes could walk out of his head, they’d march over here and strangle me with my own intestines.
llsr="#000I take his hand and drop Traven’s car keys in them.
“Do you remember the hotel where you came to see me?”
“Yes.”
“Drive this car over there and leave it on the street. Leave the keys under the driver’s seat.”
He looks at the keys like I just shoveled dog shit into his hand.
“Why would I do that? I’m not your errand boy.”
“Because it’s not an errand. It’s a loose end and loose ends are what ruin plans and get people hurt. Understand?”
He takes the keys and gets into the Metro.
Before he closes the door he says, “Go to Hell.”
“Why didn’t I think of that?”
As he heads out I check on the older cop. His heart and breathing are on the low end, but steady. I take the car keys off his belt and go back to the patrol car.
Inside, I reach across the laptop bolted between the seats and unhook the mike from the dashboard.
“Officers down at the corner of Adams and Eleventh Street. One is alive but hurt and the other is pretty much dead. For the record, I didn’t do either one of them, but you wouldn’t believe me if I told you who did.”
The cop’s communication unit crackles. I look for an off button but can’t find one, so I kick everything on the dashboard until the noise stops. While I’m in Hulk mode, I punch the shattered windshield out of the way. The safety glass comes out in one piece. I shove it across the hood and let it fall on the side of the road.
Sorry, boys. I really wanted both of you to go home tonight. But sometimes pianos really do fall from the sky and sometimes you’re the Coyote and catch it in the teeth. I’ve been there plenty of times. If I see you on the other side, I owe you a drink. If not, maybe it’ll help knowing I’m about to do something that’s really going to hurt.
I start the patrol car and the Crown Vic’s V-8 engine screams. This is what I need for a Black Dahlia. This is the right way to leave, like Vidocq likes to say, le merdier. I slam the car into drive and floor it, smoking the tires and fishtailing down the street before I get hold of the thing. Suicide is still a goddamn scary idea, but burning rubber in a cop car at least makes it a little more fun.
Crenshaw is up ahead.
Candy flashes in my head. Red-slash eyes in black ice. Mad-dog teeth in my shoulder. Yes, I’m leaving you for another woman, buacrer womat she’s dead and it’s only for three days and I’m coming back. I promise.