We both fire up our Gladiuses and go at each other. Even hurt, the angel is inhumanly fast and strong, but so am I. He’s not going to fall for the same trick twice, so I stay in close to him. He can’t get a good swing at me, and with his injured arm he can’t push me back enough to put me in dissecting range. But he figures out what I’m doing and kicks my leg. When I stumble he gets an overhead shot at my back. I see it coming and turn my shoulders so he only gets a piece of me. Still, the blow burns like nothing I’ve ever felt before. It feels a lot like a magic flaming sword.
I snap my head up under his chin and knock him back. I swing at his shoulder, but the prick has been playing possum. He grabs my throat with what I thought was his injured arm, raises his sword with the other, and brings it down at my head. I kick out my feet and fall backward, pulling him down with me. As we fall I swing my sword up between us. The angel lands on top of me and my Gladius goes out.
He’s big, and with all that armor it feels like chorus line decided to do a show on my chest. It takes all of my strength to roll him off me. Once he starts moving, he goes easily. In fact he loses some weight in the process. His left urts. His arm falls off where I sliced through it in the fall.
I manifest my Gladius again and swipe it lightly across his face, giving him a scar like one of mine. He stays on his back, staring up at me. Angels don’t bleed, but something thick and clear is leaking out from where his arm used to be, closing the wound.
“You’re lucky. I want you to do my favor more than I want to kill you. This is your second chance to stay alive. No one gets a third.”
He closes his eyes for a second then turns his head to where his arm isn’t.
“I agree.”
“Swear, angel. Swear a holy oath you can’t break.”
He blinks twice. Stares into the sun. He’s thinking, Father why have you forsaken my ass? Because he can’t choose you over the other angels bootlicking hosannas. Or like the rest of us, you’re just another bug on his windshield.
“I swear and make a holy pledge as a servant of the Lord to abide by the bargain we make.”
I let the Gladius go out, grab his chest plate at the neck, and pull him up. Toss him back against Eden’s gates and get up close to his face so he won’t miss a word.
“Tell Lucifer I’m coming for him.”
Rizoel looks at me.
“Lucifer was his name in Perdition. In Heaven, he’s Samael.”
“Call him Travis Bickle for all I care, just tell him I’m coming. And I’m bringing all of Hell with me. Got it?”
“What kind of man are you that you’d wage war on Heaven?”
“It was this or stay home and watch The Wizard of Oz, and I hate musicals.”
I leave him where he is, flame on my Gladius, and slice through the chains on the gates. One kick and Eden is open for business.
Rizoel staggers back.
“I’m going to get written up for this, you know. It’ll go on my permanent record.”
“Shouldn’t you be on your way somewhere?”
Rizoel is horrified at seeing an Abomination in the garden. One step. Two steps. He doesn’t move. I think he was expecting me to turn into a pillar of salt. I turn, and when he doesn’t move, I drag my Gladius through the rosebushes. They burst into flame.
He takes a couple of steps back, shaking his head. “You are such an asshole.”
“Don’t forget our deal. By the way, how do I get to Hell in here?”
The look of disgust fades as his lips draw up into a big Cheshire-cat smile.
“It’s easy. Exactly the way the human part of you did it the first time.”
Before I get a word out, Rizoel spreads his wings and throws himself into the ridiculously bright blue sky.
I take a look around the garden. It’s just a fucking garden. Rizoel was too gleeful to just be mocking me. He was giving me a clue. Hell is in here somewhere.
I stroll around the garden like a tourist in the kind of flower prison that florists dream about. After a while all the plants look the same to me. Leaves. Got it. Stems and flowers. Got it. Bark and fruit. Got it. I’m Steve McQueen and the Blob is after me, only it’s made of dandelions and begonias.
Where is Hell in here? I stomp through the rosebushes and under pine trees. Climb up snaky vines and dig up screaming mandrakes. That was a bad idea. I thought they might be carrots. I’m getting hungry.