I manifest the Gladius and hold it up high. And swing it down. Mason’s body drops and I kick it off the truck. When I hold up Mason’s head, that’s when the Thank-God-Bruce-is-finally-playing “Born to Run” roar hits. When I stick the head onto a set of longhorn antlers mounted on the truck, the screams get even louder. I stand there in Lucifer’s armor with the Gladius burning, shining like a blood-soaked star.
A group of generals comes across the parking lot. I keep the Gladius burning but lower it to my side. If they’re looking to pull an Ides of March thing, I have no problem whatsoever with running away.
General Semyazah is up front with Baphomet and Shax behind. Other officers spread out around them. Halfway to the truck they stop. Time for the bum rush. I should have kept Mason’s head. I could beat a couple of them stupid with it before it fell apart.
The officers don’t attack, but I still have a significant urge to run away. Semyazah kneels and one by one the other officers get down on one knee.
He shouts, “Hail horrors! Hail Infernal world! Hail Lucifer!”
The air is full of the thundering of the “Hail Lucifer!” Shit. No wonder rock stars go crazy. A mob like this can love you or rip you to pieces in a hot minute. And I don’t have a tour manager to tell me what to do next. Time for one more slice of bullshit.
I hold up my hands and the crowd goes quiet.
“Tonight was a great victory against a great enemy. In the coming weeks and months you’ll see some changes around here. Tonight, though, forget about war and blood and be happy that we’re still where we should be and Heaven is still where it should be. Both could be gone now, but they aren’t and it’s because of your fearlessness. So tonight Lucifer bows to you.”
I do it. I get down on one knee like Semyazah. The crowd goes apeshit. I get up while they’re still screaming. Always leave your audience wanting more. I get my ass back into the elevator and up to the penthouse. My guts are in knots, but no one’s taken a shot at me yet.
When I get upstairs Lucifer is there, chatting c1C;, chattasually with Alice and the angel like they’re deciding whether to rent Bambi or Beaches. Lucifer looks my way and claps his hands.
“Wonderful speech. I couldn’t have done better myself. Well, actually I could have done much better, but that was a good first effort. What sort of changes are you planning?”
“I don’t know. It was just something to say. First thing I’m going to do is haul that broken-down Bamboo House of Dolls in from the desert and rebuild it here. Maybe I’ll drop back down here every now and then and bartend. I’m making sure someone puts the roof back on Tartarus and let Semyazah toss Mason’s soul down there. He can have the whole place to himself.”
Lucifer narrows his eyes.
“You ruined the furnace.”
“Tell Ruach if he wants to send down a plumber, we’ll welcome him or her or whatever else you have up there with open arms.”
“You might not make a terrible Lucifer after all,” says Lucifer.
“How’s the bleeding?”
God bodyslammed Lucifer out of Heaven with a thunderbolt during their war and his wounds have never healed. He’s been hiding the open, bleeding wound from other Hellions for how long? Thousands of years? A million? The linen bandages are still there when Lucifer opens his shirt, but just a few drops of blood have soaked through.
He says, “Healing nicely. The climate up north is excellent for the health. You should come visit sometime.”
“Don’t get too cozy up there. I was more than happy to put Mason in the ground, but I told you before that I’m just a temp. The gig is done. Hell is yours.”
Lucifer loops his arm through my Kissi arm and walks me to a window.
“You still don’t grasp the situation. I’m not Lucifer anymore. I’m Samael, and Samael is a creature of Heaven just like Lucifer is the lord of Hell. As of tonight, you are the new Lucifer.”
“Fuck that,” I say, backing off. “I quit. I abdicate. I’m impeaching myself. No way am I staying down here a second longer than I have to.”
“Actually, I think you are and it’s not my doing,” says Samael.
He looks at Alice.
“Are you ready to go home, my dear?”
“No,” she says. “If Jim is staying, then I’m staying, too.”
“Yeah, except I’m not staying. Get it?”
“I’m afraid you are,” says the angel. “I’m holding on to the key for safekeeping. With all due respect, you aren’t to be trusted with it.”
“We both have to go back so Allegra can put us back together.”